Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
Junior year, I explored giant sacks of donated clothing, pricing garments to be sold in the thrift shop. I began volunteering under the AIDS Services of Austin with a vague understanding of the disease. To be honest, I couldn't fathom how the virus could continue terrorizing our world when the word about AIDS was out: practice safe sex.
While perusing a cultural anthropology text, my interest in that particular enigma was once again sparked and a flame of understanding grew. To spread awareness about sexually transmitted diseases and their prevention methods is not enough. We must also study the cultural and social factors influencing the behavior of at-risk individuals. An anthropological approach examines the implications of gender roles, beliefs about sex, issues of fidelity and lack of communication about sex.
Let us briefly observe South Africa. Society teaches Xhosa women to be submissive; expressing sexual desires and initiating discussions about condoms are deemed taboo acts. Men, too, remain hesitant to suggest the use of condoms. The proposal of safe sex may provoke suspicions of fidelity from sexual partners. In addition, condom use is believed to waste sperm, when men are expected to preserve their clan's continuity through procreation. Although STD clinics in South Africa present the facts about AIDS and encourage prevention, cultural influences present obstacles to combatting the spread of AIDS.
My mind awoken, I contemplate the next step: designing a prevention program with cultural factors taken into consideration. As always, there remains a catch: how can we reconcile traditional cultural beliefs and patterns with the health issues of today? Food for thought, I'll be gnawing on that puzzle for quite some time.
A curious individual, I originally settled on anthropology as a major because of my varied interests and the general, liberal-arts nature of anthropology. I wish to study anthropological applications to modern, global concerns in addition to continuing to pursue my passions, which include literature, language, dance and history. Cornell's undergraduate anthropology program offers the broad education I wish to obtain while still allowing the freedom to concentrate in global quandaries.
Thank you for your criticism and thoughts!
Deadline in three days :)
To spread awareness about sexually transmitted diseases and their prevention methods is not enough.
...beliefs about sex, issues of fidelity, and lack of communication about sex.
Society teaches Xhosa women to be submissive; expressing sexual desires and initiating discussions about condoms is deem as taboo acts .
In addition, condom use is believed to waste sperm, when men are expected topreserve his clan's continuity through procreation.
... cultural influences present obstacles to combating the spread of AIDS.
I love your interesting approaches to AIDS. However, I would advice that you vary your sentence lengths a little. Use short sentences to succinctly state your main points, and long sentences to elaborate.
Good luck :)
Society teaches Xhosa women to be submissive;
Men, too, remain hesitant to suggest the use of condoms.
The brevity of those two sentences really complement each other and deliver your points home. Your response was very well written; therefore, minor changes to one or two sentences (like those you've done) really boosted your essay. At this point, I believe there's nothing much to correct regarding sentence structure and grammar.
Well done :)
