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Air Force Academy Interest Admissions Essay


williams11743 1 / 2  
Aug 20, 2010   #1
1. When did you first become interested in the Air Force Academy and serving in the Air Force? What started your interest? What Air Force career field do you hope to enter? What do you expect to gain from the Air Force Academy experience and how will it help you in your Air Force career? (250 to 300 words, 3000 characters max)

This is VERY rough. I haven't had the chance to edit it very much yet.

As a young boy, I spent many long hours imagining I was off on some medieval adventure fighting dragons and fierce enemy knights. While I have grown out of the habit of pretending, I have never lost my desire to fight for the ones I love and demonstrate bravery and courage. Ultimately, it was that desire that first sparked my interest in the military.

The military has been in the back of my mind as a career choice for years. Recently however, it has taken an increased presence in the foreground of my mind. During my sophomore year, one of my biggest role models applied for both the United States Naval and Air Force Academies. He ended up being accepted to both, but chose to attend the Naval Academy. I began to follow in his footsteps and ultimately decided that I would like to attend the Air Force Academy due to my interest in flying. I toured the Academy last spring, and the visit affirmed my decision. Never have I felt such a strong sense of belonging.

I hope to graduate from the Academy and move on to become a pilot. Even if I am not accepted into the Academy, I still plan on attending college, participating in the AFROTC, and applying for pilot school afterward. However, I still believe that the Academy would provide me with the best tools to become an Air Force officer of honor. I anticipate that the Academy will be the most difficult four years of my life, but also the best four. The leadership, selflessness, and integrity taught at the Academy cannot be substituted by any other values taught at any other institution.

Yayz 10 / 121  
Aug 21, 2010   #2
While I have grown out of the habit of pretending,

Aw, pretending is fun...

I have never lost my desire to fight for the ones I love and demonstrate bravery and courage. Ultimately, it was that desire thatwhich first sparked my interest in the military.

That's pretty cool, you get to the point--it is your passion and this is what you want

The military has been in the back of my mind as a career choice for years. Recently however, it has taken an increased presence in the foreground of my mind

Hm that made me think the military wasn't really a serious consideration for you...maybe if you rewrote with something like "Although the military has always been one of many career choices, it gradually but surely asserted itself to the the foreground..." Basically something that shows how you evolved into your desire for a military career

The leadership, selflessness, and integrity taught at the Academy cannot be substituted by any other values taught at any other institution.

Hm I don't know what it is about this sentence. I mean, it's nice, but it can be better. Maybe if you compare your values to those of the Academy?

Just some thoughts.

This is good, you mentioned specifics of the Academy that interested you and your concrete plans for the future!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 22, 2010   #3
Here, you can make remove words and make it a little better, because you already said "of my mind"
Recently however, it has taken an increased presence in the foreground of my mind .

I anticipate that the Academy will be the most difficult represent the four most difficult years of my life, but also the best. four .

This can be improved if you add some more detail about what you want to do as a pilot, perhaps your other, related interests, some facts you know about the academy, and some relevant skills you already have. Good luck!!!


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