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'most alarm clocks would stop' - Common App Essay


xxxthor 1 / 2  
Dec 31, 2011   #1
Who am I?

Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
That's where most alarm clocks would stop. But not mine. Like a highly trained sniper ready to shoot, the robotic arm fixed on my bed side sprang to life. It took aim of my face, and "splash" as a squirt of cold water hit my face. I jumped off the bed to escape the wrath of this self-designed monster, cursing it under my breath. That's how most of my days start.

Aristotle said: "We are what we repeatedly do". Who am I? I am a thinker, a learner, a researcher , and an inventor. I am fascinated by machines. I have devoted most of my life in discovering what machines can do, how they do it and using it in creative ways.

Since infancy, screwdrivers have been my favorite toys. Unlike most children who preferred playing with their toys, I preferred opening them up, observing how they worked, and finally closing them back. Though I must admit, these surgeries were mostly unsuccessful.

However, my first real passion in life was computers. When I was eleven my parents bought me a Pentium 4, my first computer. I still remember how excited I was that day. Within hours, this new addition to our household captured my heart and head - how could I resist? I dived into this whole new world, ready to discover everything there was to know about it. Programming became my hobby, and I went on putting my flags in this unclaimed territory as I went on learning new programming languages and concepts.

I had barely grown accustomed to the ways of this strange new world when another door opened - the internet. It took my computing world to a whole new level. I grew up believing that that, most of the time, with little effort, I can figure out what I need. When I have honestly tried my best, then I ask for help. Internet became my help. Under this new tutor, I excelled by leaps and bounds.

Electronics was te next thing that ignited me. I still remember the day when I broke my toy car, and spent countless hours over the internet searching for ways to fix it. I all paid of in the end when I was able to successfully repair it. I was in very high spirits that day. I immediately befriended this new disciple, and started taking beginners electronics tutorials over the internet. We have been best friends ever since.

Slowly, my fascination for machines, my passion for computers, and my acquaintance with electronics - they all converged to a focal point. The disciplines of my past became the underpinnings of my new passion - Robotics.

Who am I? I am a Roboticist, not an expert, but an ambitious one.

Please comment on the subject matter
Thank you all for your assistance
ruthyj 3 / 9  
Dec 31, 2011   #2
I really like how you personally involoved the reader!
just a few typos:
"Electronis was te..." little typo...you forgot the h haha
I all paid off... iT all paid off
great job and good luck!
Could you possibly read my Bard Supplement? Thank youu:)
OP xxxthor 1 / 2  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
thank you so much ... so u think it is mature enough to for common app?
stars93 2 / 3  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
This essay will undoubtedly emphasize you uniqueness. Lovely details to grab people's attention. I definitely like how you approach your interest in becoming roboticist.


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