. In an essay of approximately 500 words, respond to one of the three essay topics below.
c. 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' - A. Einstein. Describe your most interesting mistake.
REMOVED
I principally adhered to a policy of not dating in high school so I could remain focused on my academics by not getting caught up in the drama that is dating. However, there came a point in my junior year when I told myself 'Alright, things are in my control. I happen to like a girl who likes me back. Why not give it a shot!' It felt great at first: late night four hour phone conversations, walking in the park holding hands together, and writing cute, amorous poems to each other. But to my dismay, after several months, the sparks weren't firing as intensely as they did before. We still liked each other, but just weren't able to make things work. Both of us were too busy to make time to further this relationship into something more meaningful. This stagnation grew into frustration which then grew to anger. Inevitably, we ended this as maturely as possible. After parting ways, we are and will always be good friends.
The mistake of dating was a profound experience that taught me important and valuable lessons. I rectified my mistakes by learning the concrete life skills I need to excel and succeed. Although the emotional rushes of dating are something I miss, I learned that in any situation in life, it is important to have control of your senses and behave rationally. Many times, my frustration grew out of improper communication and I changed myself to be more open and communicable with anyone. Dating made me realize the time and effort one must put in to create a lasting relationship in life. It opened my eyes to the truth that I wasn't capable of sustaining a sensible relationship at this stage in my life and that I should focus my efforts into becoming someone before being with someone. Ironically, the diverting act of dating was an essential detour of learning which brought me back to the right path.
Lessons in life sometimes come as sugar coated mistakes giving way to the sour, yet powerful truth. You choose either to let it engulf you or to transform it into a sweet asset. Oscar Wilde once said "Experience is the name we give to our mistakes." I chose to make this mistake into an enriching and memorable experience.
*I took a completely different approach. Hopefully it isn't biased in one way. Please give much constructive criticism. Thank you.
First, you should be careful about the topic of dating. You don't want to make it sound too much like a mistake, especially when you said "We still liked each other, but just weren't able to make things work. " So give up? Colleges want students who makes things work, not give up at first trouble.
Also, the Einstein intro was completely irrelevant, except that it reflects back to the prompt, which you don't really have to do. You didn't give any reason for why Einstein was wrong, and the analogy doesn't fit with the rest of the story.
Start with the date, and provide some more insight on how it changed you. Focus on things you tried to work it out, don't sound like a person who easily gives up.
Also, your 3rd and last paragraph doesn't really match with the rest. You said that you always avoided dating, so how was that "sugar coated mistakes"? I understand that you are referring to the amorous letters and such in the beginning, but it could be confused.
Also "I learned that in any situation in life, it is important to have control of your senses and behave rationally." Did you ever lose control?
This is a good essay but it is a little casual at a few points. See, for example:
I happen to like a girl who likes me back. Why not give it a shot! I see that you put it in quotations, but it still would be better if you rephrased it a little more formally.
Overall it's a good essay that really follows the topic. I like how you have a unique form of answer; most people would not pick the topic of dating. Good job on actually making it a workable and even great essay. I think g.washington univ. would definitely accept this.
I think g.washington univ. would definitely accept this.
True, they'll accept it, but if you want to have a fair chance at the college, you gotta make them LOVE it.
On Collegeboard, there's also an essay that talks about dating, check it out!
Dear Suraj
I am a high school English teacher. I came upon your essay accidentally, and then joined the forum so I could write this reply. If you have not yet submitted your essay, DON'T! It was immediately obvious to me that the first three sentences were not written by the same person that the rest of the essay was written by. Then it took me five seconds to find it on the web by googling it. It's going to be just as easy for the admissions officer to figure this out. Believe me, plagiarism will not impress the admissions officer; on the contrary, it will insure that you will not be accepted. Your essay is not bad--if you write the whole thing yourself, you've got a chance. Good luck!
Misterjo
mm... true.
you prob should never incorporate things you can find on internet simply cuz it's not personal
This isn't really criticism but just a question...Did Einstein make as many mistakes as you imply in your intro? I read the first line and did not think of Einstein, but Thomas Edison and the creation of the light bulb rather than Enstein's theory of relativity. Just my opinion, hope the EF moderators dont call me out on "meaningless criticism" for this one.
well, the first couple sentences are from internet word for word, from a pretty reliable source, newspaper i think, so...it's prob true.
yea, from
discovermagazine.com/2004/sep/the-masters-mistakes
cool, thanks. I was just curious. Never really learned a lot about Einstein. and I assume someone has already called out the OP for plagiarism so there really isn't anything else to say.
yea, but it's really just Suraj's business...he prob submitted it already anyways.
I disagree that this not just Suraj's business, as stated in the Terms of Services:
4. If you post to this forum, you acknowledge that your message, including all its contents, may be identified by search engines and included in their public databases. EssayForum.com encourages you to use your real name when creating a membership, so that it will appear next to your essays and establish you as the author. EssayForum.com cannot be held responsible for ensuring that no one will try to use your essay as their own (i.e. plagiarism). Although we do not tolerate plagiarism of any kind, it is also true that we are limited in our ability to protect your intellectual property, so ultimately you should post "at your own risk" and use your full name when creating your membership so that it will appear in all posts you create.
As stated in the ToS, plagerism is not tolerated. If we expect other people to respect our work by posting it publicly then we should expect the members of this forum to adhere to the same policy.
yea, but why fuss over it? he'll probably never read these comments anyway. If you want, call for a moderator to delete the thread...but I see it as an example for future cheaters haha
Yes! It is important to catch this sort of thing. Suraj, I see that you are very helpful to other people here, and you are able to express yourself well. Did you perhaps intend to cite that website with a footnote and put quotation marks around the paragraph!!?? That would be okay.
If, for example, you use a footnote to cite that as a quote, then you would not be plagiarizing. But anyway, keep that material out of what you post here. Do not post material on this site if it appears elsewhere on the Internet.
Please tell me if you have any questions. And Yang, how did you even notice that? You are a hero, ha ha...
And Yang, how did you even notice that? You are a hero, ha ha...
what are you talking about? i simply read the
misterjo comment and wanted to check.
Oh, I had not noticed that. Well, thanks!
