What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
I chose Alfred Reed's Russian Christmas Music
In 1944, Alfred Reed wrote the famous concert band piece Russian Christmas Music in only sixteen days. With such a small window of time for composition, the piece has received an unrivaled level of praise, all of which is well deserved. I have performed this piece for three years now at my high school's annual Christmas concert and each time, it has thoroughly moved me and visibly moved the audience. Our rendition of this classic piece has always been slightly different than those I have seen performed elsewhere. We do not play the entire piece but rather the final build-up and climax. Beginning with a series of mysterious and intriguing trombone swells, the introduction is backed by the distant regal melody of chimes. As this section accelerates and expands to include the entire ensemble, reaching a point at which it could not grow any greater, it explodes with a final feeling of triumph, receding to reveal a soothing clarinet and bassoon rhythm intertwined with the longing call of a French horn. Accompanying this change in mood, is the entire choral department with an eerie and yet soothing recitation of a Russian carol. This is the moment that has the most profound effect on both the audience and performers, making it rare to see a dry eye. Tension builds yet again as the trumpets and trombone sound their majestic theme and the rolling triplets accelerate to the peak. The summit is met with the pounding of timpani and liberal use of chimes backing a now roaring brass and woodwind ensemble. The resolving note sounds and the silence, as loud as an explosion, reverberates through the room, as well as my heart and soul.
You're descriptive imagery is lover - clearly you know how to write by showing and not by telling. I have one suggestion and that is that you refer back to the prompt - I presume the university wants to know how you let yourself be influenced by art/music/science etc., and whether you let it change you for better or worse. Try adding one or two sentences at the beginning or end about how it has influenced you. Maybe something about how the piece challenged you to play but experiencing it is always dazzling?
and although the last sentence sounds really cool, re-reading it is a little foggy. its unclear what your heart and soul are doing. use the same language but maybe tweak it a bit:
The resolving note sounds and then silence, as loud as an explosion, reverberates through the room, accompanied by the thrum of my heart and soul.
Or something along those lines....
Hope this helps and good luck! If you have time do you think you could help me with mine?
Great description here, Nathan. I kept googling to see if you had copied this from a professional review... sorry I doubted you, but it was because you write so well!
My only concern is that the reader will not appreciate this because they will think you reused an essay about a different topic. This seems like a re-used essay, but you can make it perfect for the prompt by adding more analysis of how it made you feel... not a description of what happens, but how it actually makes you feel. And make sure it is about the piece of music, not about the process of performing it. Attack that prompt by explaining how you felt, every step of the way during the piece.
