I have already previewed life at Penn State and absolutely loved it - summer experience

PENN STATE PERSONAL STATEMENT

"Please choose one of your activities or another experience you would like to share and provide a short description of its importance to you. Include why that commitment could be relevant to your student experience at Penn State."

This summer I attended the Summer Study program at Penn State University. I spent six and a half weeks in this "pre- college" program at the University Park campus. As students in the Summer Study program, we boarded in Shunk Hall with a roommate just as we will in college. I loved living in Shunk Hall and eating in Pollock Commons. The food in the dining hall definitely exceeded my expectations.

As part of the program, I attended "Introductory to Criminology" in the Willard Building. I really enjoyed this class because the the was not a boring lecture, but an engaging discussion led by instructor, Laine Briddell. Also, I had great classmates who all voiced their different and persuasive opinions.

Because of this experience I am sure that Penn State University is the right college for me to attend. I can picture myself studying in the enormous Paterno library, cheering on the Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium and just hanging out in State College. Also, I will not be very nervous coming to college as a freshman because I have already previewed life at Penn State and absolutely loved it.

Because you didn't state what type of assistance you were seeking, I have made some general comments in regards to mechanics and grammar:

"This summer I attended the Summer StudyIs this the actual title of the program? If so, "program" should be capitalized also. If not, "Summer Study" shouldn't be capitalized. program at Penn State University. I spent six and a half weeks in this "pre- college" program at the University Park campus. As students in the Summer Study program, we boarded in Shunk Hall with a roommate just as we will in college. I loved living in Shunk Hall and eating in Pollock Commons. The food in the dining hall definitely exceeded my expectations.

This is an appropriate answer to the prompt; you acknowledge all of the facets of their question and answer them completely. Good work.

thank you so much. is there anything that can be done to make it better?
I'm about to send it and im SO nervous

I think once you've done the mechanical/grammatical polishing, it will be a great piece. Take a deep breath and send it off!