"I already had many stereotypes" - U of M: Diversity essay

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this because well this is just a question I'm having troubles with so tell me if this is good at all for starters or should I Just completely start over. Thanks

Coming into high school I already had many stereotypes compounded into my head. I judged people, liberally, without getting to know them first. I thought that all Hispanic people were stupid and lazy and that all Jews were unfriendly and cheap. Ironically, as it turns out my two best friends in high school are both from these two ethnic groups, Arthur and Guillermo. They make up an important part of my high school experience and an important lesson that I've learned.

They've showed me that stereotypical and first impressions don't help you understand a person at all. Instead they give you a false sense of knowing them when you really don't. Indeed, they have both helped me a lot in my high school years, whether academically or personally. Arthur has helped me developed as a person who challenges themselves and not give up. In fact I attribute my change in high school completely to him. He encouraged me to compete with him and as such drove me to my limits. Without him I don't think I would've had the academic success that I did. Guillermo, on the other hand, is great to talk to when you're feeling down. His humorous and joyful demeanor always cheers me up even in the toughest situations of life. I am happy that I didn't avoid them when we first met, I am happy I got to know them and I'm happy I learned how false, and ridiculous, stereotypical judgments are. My two friends have definitely grown on me and while I can't say we're going to the same college or even the same state, they will definitely be adamantly set in my memories as my best friends in high school.

Wow, that first paragraph is very blunt! It stressed me out at first, thinking you might instead be vague about what you thought, but is is powerful writing.

Entering high school I already had many stereotypes...

Ironically, as it turns out, my two best friends in high school are both from these two ethnic groups, Arthur and Guillermo.

They've shown me that stereotypical and first impressions don't help you understand a person at all.Arthur has helped me developed as a person who challenges themselves and not give up.

Arthur has helped me develop into a person who can challenge myself and not give up. (how do you feel about changing the sentence to something like that?)

...learned how false and ridiculous stereotypical judgments are. Leave the commas out.

Thanks for the grammatical help and yeah I think your change for teh second to last correction is best: Arthur has helped me developed into a person who can challenge myself and not give up at the first obstacle.

-not sure if that's any better

Just a few questions, do you think I answered the prompt? And yes I too was thinking that the first paragraph might be a little vague, that's why i wasn't sure if about this. Umm.. do you think this is gonna work lol? I think I can still polish some areas but in general is this a good topic to write about ? (like does it fall into the 90% generic topics)

Ha ha, I understand what Susan means. I think this part should be removed, because it may have a subconscious effect on the reader! Ha ha, in fact, it sort of... just plain reflects badly on you. Okay... I'm going to go meditate on this.

Okay!! I think it would be a lot better if you wrote about the influences that tried to instill prejudice in you. BUT, you never really accepted these ideas. You never really believed ALL Jews were cheap, did you? So, you can say that these two high school friends helped you to solidify your idea that skin color doesn't matter.

This whole essay could use some additional reflection. Right now, the whole essay could be summed up in a single sentence: "I developed stereotypical ideas about various cultural groups while I was growing up, but in high school I met some friends of different ethnicities who made me realize stereotypes are ridiculous." I think you could dig deep and offer so much more insight.

Where do the stereotypes come from originally?