"Over-ambitious procrastinator" or how to start my commonapp essay?

Dear friends!!
It's already august but i am still unable to write even a sentence for my college essay. I am really a procrastinator!!!!!
please help me to motivate myself and help me to start writing great essay!!!!

please!!

Dear friend,
First you can use the Internet for some help, there are some useful information, just use google.
Second you may contact with your current teachers, tell their your troubles, they may provide some suggestions for you. Since you have know your shortcoming, get rid of it, it is not hard, believe yourself!

Hope this useful! Good luck!

Hi evry1:
1.i think my first commonapp essay's a mess!!!
2. my idea's so not organized.
3. it's too long
4. please help me ::::~~~~::::
My parents call me "over-ambitious". They think that I talk too big and I dream too high. It is not an exaggeration and it is true that I am over ambitious. I have never been satisfied of what I have achieved till now. There is always "What if I had done better?" or "what if I had toiled more sweats?" My parents are used to listening my "what ifs"but I was not like this before, I mean this overly ambitious person. It was after an incident that took place 5years ago. It was on July of 2004 when I had been to my grandmother's house. My grandmother was and is still a conservative person. She was dissatisfied with my mother as my mother was unable to bear a male-child. I still vividly remember that conversation I had with my grandmother. It was:

Grandmother: how much have you studied little girl?
Me: I am in class seven.
Grand mother: I had told your parents to have a son, but they didn't listen to me. If they had a son, he'd definitely have glorified my son's name. I have no doubt with your sisters. They can find a good guy, but for you, I have no hope and what can you do by being a girl!!

Me:....speechless, hurt and emotionally wretched!!!

It was true that I was neither beautiful nor a brilliant student at that time. Till then I had no purpose in my life. That sarcasm ignited the purpose of my life. My grandmother might have used those words on other purpose, it might have been used to spill her anger towards my mother, yet, and it hurt me the most. Although people say that soul is abstract thing, my soul was shattered. That day before going to sleep, I had secretly promised to god I'd prove my grandmother wrong. Then from the next day, my journey had begun...as an over-ambitious girl.Now, after five years, I have changed, transformed for good. I was an average student when I was in grade 7 but my grades rose sharply after that incident. When I had the urge to play with my friends or watch TV soaps. I used to prevent distractions by recalling my conversation with grand mom. I had shocked my parents the most when they saw my great final exam's marks.

People say "every thing happens for a reason" but this incident happened for more than one reason...it happened for many reasons. Now, I have come to conclusion that:

>You are able to make great friends if you are filthy rich or if your grades are extra good. Friendship in case of a rich one is guaranteed till they are stuffed with green money. In the latter case, friendship grows with intellectual energy which is not extinguishable.

>Teachers are good observers and they know who you are and what you are capable of. You should not let yourself down by hearing criticism of your classmates.

>Every one should have aim and also the reason to drive themselves to their goal. We also should have the reason to celebrate our success.

>Although parents might call you "over ambitious","pushy" or "honey bee" they want more from you. They expect you stand out in the crowd.

>Your sleep deprived mind can't catch up the lecture presented in the class.
>There are always two choices in your life, Good choice and bad choice. Whenever we choose one choice, we spend our next few moments of life by wondering "what if I had chosen the other one"

>Although your parents complain that you can't let them sleep due to your humming sound at night (mugging scientific formulas), they still don't tell you to stop studying too loud.

> I have learnt that behind every parent "no" to a question there's always a valid reason and they never want us to digress from our path.

>A daughter is no less than a son. She can do every thing what a son can. A daughter can make her parents happy, just like I have done.

Now, it is 2010 and I am a high school graduate. My parents were upset when I had expressed my desire to study abroad. They had straightly refused to let me apply to International colleges. My mother had even scolded me by telling that "In Germany you can't live there without any relatives and with no one but foreigners." It was a valid reason, yet this was not a complete reason to forbid me from applying. It took me about a week to get money from my father to register for SAT. My parents are still not happy with my decision although they have agreed to support me financially. They are not wrong with their ideas, it is not an easy task to leave your parents nest and live in foreign country, just at the opposite end of the globe.Now,as I have taken SAT,Toefl tests and have begun my application process it is an irreversible task to undo. I have decided to spread my wings wide in international level.

I must confess that I had no plans to apply to foreign colleges. I was lured by the novels of Jhumpa lahari (The namesake and unaccustomed earth) where she has mentioned colleges of America. I have let go of my plans of studying in Nepal in hope of studying in international college. I have chosen Jacobs due to its reputation as a prestigious college. If I am accepted to Jacobs, there is no doubt that I'd prove myself. I have planned on taking women's studies as a major subject. I have also planned to take biology as a minor subject. I am fascinated by the creations of the nature and I think that I can do some thing important for the women of Asian regions. I hope to study the conditions of women of all over the world and I want to trace the problems faced by women of Africa to the women of Asia. It is my luck that I got born in a family where my parents are educated and economically sound. I have got all the luxuries that a 21st century person needs but it is not same for all girls of my country. There are my own female friends who are discriminated on the basis of sex.Let's take an example of my friend ;Her parents gave birth to five daughters in hope of a son and at last they had one. She has many problems in her family. She had no enough money for her MBBS programme that she's now studying Architect. It is a modern problem faced by a modern friend of mine where there is emotional feelings attached more than material one. We have a custom of forbidding women to enter kitchen and other house parts when they have menstrual cycle. In rural areas, the case is worse; women are forced to sleep in cowshed during menstrual cycle even during winter season. Recently two women died due to cold while they were staying in a cowshed.

I want to improve the conditions of women of my country. I want to get a PhD degree in Women's studies and then only I'll start to work all around the world.

I want to prove my grandmother wrong and want to change her perspective. I want to make my parents feel that their "over-ambitious" girl is now grown up and is capable of deciding what is good for her.

The most glorious moment for me was on last December when I had once again been to my grandmother's house. I was elated when I saw my certificates hung on the wall of sitting room. It was a magnificent moment for me, but this incident made me turn my neck to the left at the bare wall, standing tall in front of me as a next dream to conquer!!

I want more from my life, I am "over-ambitious"

Change it to "overly ambitious." It sounds better.

Be careful about spacing of characters and words: "what ifs"but

Oh wow!! I can't believe that... how terrible... your grandmother represents a way of thinking that still exists in many places. I have trouble believing some people think that way.

My parents are used to listening my "what-if questions," but I actually was not always like this before, I mean this overly ambitious person.

I used to prevent distractions by recalling my conversation with grand mom. I had shocked my parents the most when they saw my great final exam's marks.

I really like this essay!!!
Find places to take out unnecessary words. Like this: I want to prove my grandmother wrong and want to change her perspective.

It's the same in India. You wouldn't believe if I told you what practices take place in the rural areas. This is the reason why sex determination was banned in India.


These should be capitalized, like this -- Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake and Unaccustomed Earth.


This one is an unnecessary sentence.


Can you write these two sentences in a better way? I mean, can you specifically say what is the most interesting aspect about Jacobs?

her MBBS programme that she's now studying Architectarchitecture

Samridhi, you have written a nice essay. You just need to condense it. Cut some additional stuff out. Look for ideas you have repeated.

I can empathize with your situation. I've seen a lot of incidents like that.

I hope you get admitted, and find "samridhi" in your life. :)

thank u Hussain!!
I'll try to work on the length part!!

:-) thank u