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"between America and Saudi Arabia" - family history, culture or environment


Ryane2011 1 / 1  
Mar 17, 2011   #1
My Family history and culture has a huge influence in who I am today. I have two very different backgrounds, which includes lifestyle, food, culture, religious beliefs and so much more. My dad is from Saudi Arabia and my mom is from America, I like to consider myself half and half.

Traveling back and forth between America and Saudi Arabia made me appreciate the way of life and helped me understand more about people and their differences and similarities. I am able to communicate, connect and socialize because I understand each of their culture. Seeing two different cultures has helped me become the person that I am. I have always been exposed to those who are different than me and I have found that I respect people no matter where they are from. I enjoy meeting new people from different countries around the world.

I speak two languages English and Arabic, both fluently, but English is my mother tongue. Even though I went to an all Arabic school through grade 1 to grade 7, I was the only one out of my 5 siblings raised to speak mostly English. Therefore, in grade 8 my parents decided to have me live in America with my mom in Hudson, Wisconsin, but for my high school years I've decided to come back to Saudi Arabia and enroll in a school that follows the American system.

My family environment made me into a more passionate and successful student by supporting me and gaining my confidence to succeed in a risky journey. Now I want to take advantage of my confidence and use it in pursuing my education and to perform well in all my classes no matter the difficulty. Taking pride in my work is the most important influence resulting from my family atmosphere. The overall relief and joy that I will experience when I graduate will not be matched anywhere else.
yash32 1 / 9  
Mar 18, 2011   #2
My Family history and culture has a huge influence on me. It has made me who I am today. I have two very different backgrounds, which includes lifestyle, food, culture, religious beliefs and so much more. My dad is from Saudi Arabia and my mom is from America, I like to consider myself half and half. I think you should change this sentence.

Traveling back and forth between America and Saudi Arabia made me appreciate the way of life and helped me understand more about people and, their differences and similarities. I am able to communicate, connect and socialize because I understand each of their culture.

Seeing two different cultures has helped me become the person that I am.This is a little similar to the second sentence. It could be like: Being accustomed to two different cultures has made me understand the importance of diversity.

I have always been exposed to those who are different thanfrom me. and I have found that IIt has helped me to respect people no matter where they are from. I enjoy meeting new people from different countries around the world.

I speak two languages English and Arabic, both fluently, but English is my mother tongue. Even though I went to an all Arabic school through grade 1 to grade 7, I was the only one out of my 5 siblings raised to speak mostly English.This sentence doesn't sound very good.It could be like: Even though I went to an all Arabic school from grade 1 to grade 7, I spoke in English the most.

Therefore, in grade 8 my parents decided to have me live inthought of sending me to America with my mom in Hudson, Wisconsin. but For my high school years I've decided to come back to Saudi Arabia and enroll in a school that follows the American system.

My family environment made me into a more passionate and successful student. Their support has made me confident enough to go through the hardships of this worldly journey. Through this confidence and strength I am going to pursue my education and to perform well in all my classes no matter the difficulty.

Taking pride in my work is the most important influence resulting from my family atmosphere. The overall relief and joy that I will experience when I graduate will not be matched anywhere else.

The ending can be changed into a much better one. Try to change the structure of the sentence. It could be like: "the family atmosphere helped me to take pride in my work."

Try to form another sentence, dont use this one :The overall relief and joy that I will experience when I graduate will not be matched anywhere else.

It was really nice reading your experience. I helped you as much as I could by editing a few sentences. Hope you do well! Good Luck!
OP Ryane2011 1 / 1  
Mar 18, 2011   #3
Thank you so much for your help, i really appreciate it.

Just one more questions. I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to end this essay. Removing the last paragraph and replacing it with

"The family atmosphere helped me to take pride in my work. I learned to never give up on trying to achieve my goals. Putting in all my effort, experience and knowledge into what I desire the most will be well worth it at the end of the day."

What do you think about that? Is it good the way it is? Or what should I add?

Once again I really appreciate it..
yash32 1 / 9  
Mar 18, 2011   #4
It could be like this:

The family atmosphere helped me to take pride in my work. I learned to never give up and keep trying till I succeed. Effort, experience and knowledge put together in unison can help me reach for sky, the sky that has no limit!


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