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'America, science, and mathematics' - Essay for Columbia Science honors program


lenura96 1 / 2  
Feb 21, 2012   #1
Hi guys! Can you please help me organize my paragraph and look for grammar mistakes. Its very important since it may somehow reflect my admission to this program

The task it :Please describe your interests and background in science and mathematics

Science and mathematics wasn't something that I was always interested. In my childhood it was a torture for me to solve a math problem or to get ready for biology test. Later on I got a new teacher that helped me a lot and I am very thankful for that. From the first day of her lessons she saw that I have a potential to do better and she pushed me as hard as she could. She took her time and it was worth it. Right now, being a sophomore I love math and science. Every time I hear about a contest or science fair, I want to be a part of it. When I was in 8th grade, I participated in science fair and it was truly significant for me. I had an extremely good time presenting my project and evaluating other students' work.

When I came to America, two years ago, I realized that here I have so many opportunities to study science and math. For me, having classes in the lab has been something new, since I didn't have that in my home country. Doing the experiment and finding the unknown in my laboratory techniques class caught my interest. Studying chemistry, biology helped me realize that this is what I want to do in the future. I decided that going into medical field will be a right choice for me.

OGrant - / 3  
Feb 21, 2012   #2
Science and mathematics were not (avoid using contractions) subjects that I was always interested in. During my childhood, it was torture solving a math problem or preparing for a biology test. Later on I studied under a new teacher who helped me a lot. I am very thankful for the time and energy that teacher invested in me and my education. From the first day of her lessons, she saw that I had potential to do better and pushed me as hard as she could. She took her time and it was worth it. Currently as a sophomore in college, I have a new found love for the subjects of math and science. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY, I HAVE MADE SEVERAL CORRECTIONS FOR YOU! HOPE THEY HELP.
OP lenura96 1 / 2  
Feb 22, 2012   #3
Thank you so much. It did help
OGrant - / 3  
Feb 28, 2012   #4
In today's society, it is important for high school students to attend college and receive a degree in higher education. Higher education is essential for those students who are interested in a better career that not only offers a higher paying salary but stability and some varying levels of interest. Some students may disagree with this idea, and believe that receiving a degree in higher education really does not matter;but I believe the most rewarding future is in obtaining higher education because it will benefit an individual's career path.

Attending college will not only help you to succeed in society, but in the long run by having better options, supports, and finances to help to you live the lifestyle you choose. Having a college education will help to improve the portion of society overall.(WHAT DO YOU MEAN HERE?HOW CAN HAVING A COLLEGE DEGREE HELP SOCIETY?PLEASE SPECIFIC HERE AND EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEAN)

(MAKE THIS A SEPARATE PARAGRAPH SINCE YOU ARE CHANGING THE SUBJECT)Studying in college can also have disadvantages, for example, class schedules, studying, and duration of degree. These disadvantages may be very time consuming and require full-time commitments which may reduce an individual's amount of time spent with family. Another disadvantage in obtaining a degree in higher education is that it costs a lot of money and it can directly affect an individual's current financial income (e.i. obtaining a degree in higher education, might cause someone to give up their previous job to focus on school). With all of these disadvantages, I still believe it is highly important for individuals to work towards obtaining a degree in higher education because it can improve one's social skills, foster skills like time management and self-discipline, and it can lead to a degree which will multiple an individual's career opportunities.

(PLEASE READ CAREFULLY..I'VE MADE SEVERAL CORRECTIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE FOLLOW THE FLOW OF THIS ESSAY AND FOCUS IN ON "WHAT IS HIGHER EDUCATION". DON'T GET OFF TOPIC WRITING ABOUT STUFF THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT..COLLEGES WHAT TO SEE THAT YOU CAN STICK TO THE POINT! I DID NOT WORK ON THE SECOND PARAGRAPH SO THAT YOU CAN PRACTICE AND ADD TO THE CORRECTION I'VE ALREADY MADE...GOOD LUCK)

When young twenty year olds attend college for the first time he or, she might be surprise about the variety of ages in classes with them. You see the variety of ages mostly at a community college for instance like the College of Western Idaho, rather than a University College like Boise State. The reason why there are a lot of younger students at a university college like Boise State is, because those types of colleges have dorm rooms. You will not see elderly people living in a dorm room with their friends. You are more willing to see elderly people at a community college like the College of Western Idaho that does not have dorm rooms. According to Wallace, "two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, morning, boys, how's the water?" According to the quote the students just out of high school are likely to talk with an older person regarding homework, if they are at a community college. Young college students are likely to get help from their peers on their homework, if they go to a University.
Jodyherr 1 / 2  
Feb 29, 2012   #5
O Grant thank you for looking over this part of my essay the suggestions you gave to me really helped alot

could you check through more of my essay?


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