Trying to shorten my essay to 500 words or less, any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Essay Questions
- Your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer; and
- How these reasons are related to your past experiences and life goals.
- How you expect to satisfy the Peace Corps 10 Core Expectations (please be specific about which expectations you expect to find most challenging and how you plan to overcome these challenges).
core expectations:
1. Prepare your personal and professional life to make a commitment to serve abroad for a full term of 27 months;
2. Commit to improving the quality of life of the people with whom you live and work; and in doing so, share your skills, adapt them and learn new skills as needed;
3. Serve where Peace Corps asks you to go, under conditions of hardship if necessary, and with the flexibility needed for effective service;
4. Recognize that your successful and sustainable development work is based on the local trust and confidence you build by living in, and respectfully integrating yourself into your host community and culture;
5. Recognize that you are responsible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for your personal conduct and professional performance;
6. Engage with host country partners in a spirit of cooperation, mutual learning and respect;
7. Work within the rules and regulations of Peace Corps and the local and national laws of the country where you serve;
8. Exercise judgment and personal responsibility to protect your health, safety and well-being and that of others;
9. Recognize that you will be perceived, in your host country and community, as a representative of the people, cultures, values and traditions of the United States of America;
10. Represent responsibly the people, cultures, values and traditions of your host country and community to people in the United States both during and following your service.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
ESSAY
I am an American Palestinian. I was brought up in Palestine, especially during the time of violence that started in 2000 until 2007. In that period, I have witnessed bombing, demolitions, curfews and loss of loved ones. On the other hand, I had worked with my community in helping those who had suffered from the conflict. After 2007, I came to the United States to get my BS degree. I joined the International Student Association, which helped me integrate my Palestinian background with my fellow Americans and other international students. I also volunteered in social events on campus with American students. Furthermore, I had the opportunity to have American roommates in which helped us to understand one another.
I am a young, hard working individual living in the United States of America where democracy, education and health care are provided to all. However, I am aware of the state of other countries and recognize there are places where such privileges are not easily available. Therefore, I would like to lend a helping hand to assist in the building and maintenance of institutions that provide support for the people in these less developed countries and, thereby, help ease their sufferings. To fully understand the reasons for my desire to join the Peace Corps can be acknowledged by learning who I am, an American Palestinian who has lived in both parts of the world: an industrial country and a country that is not internationally recognized, is underdeveloped and is continually undergoing a cycle of violence. Thus, there are many refugees and refugee camps and with the help of the UN, schools and clinics have been built. During this time of crisis in my country, I have provided help by donating blood, giving council to people who have lost loved ones and offer food and shelter to those who, unfortunately, lost their homes during hard times. I have also worked with non-profit organizations to help raise money.
My greatest challenge in being in the Peace Corps is that it is inevitable that I will be looked upon as an outsider. However, to meet this challenge, I plan to gain people's trust by learning the language, their habits and traditions and respecting them. I will also be willing to dress and work as they do. I will blend into the culture because I understand by volunteering I am committing myself to the community at all hours and days of the week so I do recognize and accept these terms.
Having experienced life in such a way allows me to empathize with the plight of others. I want to help other countries that are underdeveloped by being a part of building institutions that provide health care and education, building roads and connecting communities with one another. Moreover, I have a degree in public relations and communications which will enable me to use the concepts learnt to open dialogue, integrate with other cultures and understand people with diverse ethnicities, cultures and background. Within my field, I am also able to use various techniques to raise awareness of the problems and concerns of an undeveloped country and help bridge countries together. With my extensive background and knowledge of TESOL (Teaching English to Students of Other Languages), I am able to specifically help in the education field by assisting in teaching English, a universal language, to non-English speakers. I plan on keeping a journal, taking pictures, which will help in my future plans especially with graduate school. I can also bring awareness to my fellow Americans of where I was and bridge between the U.S. and the country that I worked in as Peace Corps volunteer.
I will be the best example of U.S. through me, opening dialogue and explaining the culture and the values of the U.S.
I am currently in my last semester and plan to graduate this May (2011) with a bachelor's degree in Public Relations and Communications. After completing this semester, I am available to join the Peace Corps. I plan to attend graduate school after my time with the Peace Corps. I have skills and experience in landscaping and as a writing tutor, but I am always willing and able to learn more. I also plan to build on my experience of learning how to teach English to ESL and EFL students. I am open and flexible to wherever the Peace Corps sends me.
. I have also worked with non-profit organizations to help raise money.- this is part of a list so just put a comma= , and also worked with non-profit organizations to help raise money for the need of others."
. I will also be willing to dress and work as they do. I will blend into the culture because I understand by volunteering I am committing myself to the community at all hours and days of the week so I do recognize and accept these terms. - ( the best thing about coming from another country is teacher others about who you are and where you come from since you said that Palestine is not will known,,, you could teach others and that's something that others can gain from instead of trying to blend in. there is nothing wrong with being different because if that was the case the America would not be what it is today due to the diversity. so try not to say that you will change yourself because being your self is the best thing that a person can be)
learnt - learned
integrate with other cultures and understand people with diverse ethnicities, cultures and background.- integrate with other cultures, understand people with diverse ethnicity , cultures and background
i don't know what parts of this essay is important to you so cutting it down to 500 words will be pretty hard. just leave the thing that shows your personality and being an overall student
OVER ALL THIS IS A GREAT ESSAY AND INSHALLAH EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT IN PALESTINE. YOU HAVE BRIGHT FUTURE AND DON'T LET ANYONE SAY YOU CANT.
