Greetings. I'm Farrukh from Tajikistan. My grammar and vocabulary are so poor. So i need your help for ending my essay. Please help.
I want to attend the American Summer Camp in my country Tajikistan. The camp's focus will be on promoting tolerance and understanding amongst all people. There will also be significant attention given to promoting democracy. In addition, to these important ideas being promoted there will be swimming, sports, games, contests and many other interesting activities that will serve to enliven the mind and energize the body. American Corner is looking for active young people who were in grades 10 and 11 or in course 1, 2 or 3 at a university during the 2008-2009 school year.
This will be an English speaking camp, so it will be necessary for me to have a basic to intermediate level of English, so I can actively participate in the camp's educational activities. Therefore, I'm required to write an essay and submit it with my application. This will help coordinators determine the level of English language proficiency each applicant has.
In an essay of 500 words or less I've to tell about myself, and why I want to attend the American Corner Summer Camp. What do I hope to learn from this camp?
I've already wrote about myself (400 words). And at the end (about 100 words) I've to continue writing "why I want to attend the American Corner Summer Camp. What do I hope to learn from this camp?"
Can anyone help me with this, please?
I do not think your grammar and vocabulary are so poor!
Why don't you share with us what you have already written about yourself, and then we can help you think about what to say in your conclusion?
This is a small improvement:
Significant attention will also be given to the promotion of democracy.
Here, I'll move a comma:
In addition to these important ideas being promoted, there will...
Oh, ha ha!! I had been making corrections as if this was part of an essay! I see... well, you do indeed have "a basic to intermediate level of English," so you should feel very confident.
Send us the essay you write and we will make suggestions. :)
Well, why do you want to attend the camp? Is it to broaden your mind? Meet new people? Experience a different culture?
And what do you hope to learn? How to promote tolerance? How other people from different cultures see the world?
Really, these are questions you will have to answer for yourself.
