Amherst College Supplement: Rigorous reasoning and empirical evidence

Please feel free to give me feedback for the following essay both on content and word usage:

Please respond to one of the following quotations in an essay of not more than 300 words.

1. "Rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, and insight plays an important secondary role these days. In the natural sciences, I would say that the order of these two virtues is reversed. Rigor is, of course, very important. But the most important value is insight-insight into the workings of the world. It may be because there is another guarantor of correctness in the sciences, namely, the empirical evidence from observation and experiments." Kannan Jagannathan, Professor of Physics, Amherst College

the need for mathematics in the Scientific work

There has been a long time debate over whether the mathematical reasoning or empirical insight is more important to understand the Universe. To fire this argument further, Thomas Edison once said: "I can hire a mathematician but a mathematician cannot hire me." Although, it seemed that Edison downgraded math in its position necessary for Science, in fact I take it as the opposite. In his statement, Edison simply affirmed the need for mathematics in Scientific work.

I see the universe as a book. While reading this book, knowing about the elements in the Universe, their functions, and the harmony among these elements is the key to understanding the meaning of the life and universe. Math and Science are two core tools work collaboratively to reach this ultimate goal.

Take for example photosynthesis, the process that uses three elements: sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water. Science tries to answer the questions like:

"How could plants use these unconnected elements to produce oxygen, the most essential element for life?"
"How everything in the world, from photosynthesis to the water cycle, all work in a harmony?"
But then, to respond to these questions accurately a lot of math concepts and procedures such as "counting, calculating, measuring and analyzing" are being used to make sense out of collected data from observation and experiments.

Science goes with evidence; Math goes with proof. Science uses proven mathematical methods to reach its scientific evidence. Therefore, math and science always work together in harmony to understand the harmony in the universe.

Mualla, I would not open a discussion about a quote with another quote. It seems like a cop out. It delivers the idea that you are not sure about how to discuss the quotation so you are using a related quote to respond instead. I think that the essay would be better presented if you discuss your understanding of the prompt, present your point of view first, discuss it thoroughly and then, maybe in the middle of the discussion or towards the end, you can present the Edison quote and give an opinion of how it relates to the original discussion. That would bring your ideas full circle and close the essay on a very interesting note. These types of essays require self pondering and analysis more than a response that is specific or based on other quotes. Your essay has the ability to do that. However, since the quote from Edison is nice, I would like to find a way to keep it in there.

@Holt

Thank you Holt.

This is my revised version:

In this quote, Professor Jagannathan explains the place of rigorous reasoning and empirical evidence in terms of their importance in mathematics and science. He states that rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, while empirical evidence from observation and experiments is vital in natural sciences.

There has been a long time debate over whether the mathematical reasoning or empirical insight is more important to understand the Universe. I see the Universe as a book. While reading this book, knowing about the elements in the Universe, their functions, and the harmony ...

Mualla, it sounds to me like you are writing an opinion essay here. In which case, the opening statement should clearly represent the point of view that you are taking regarding the quote provided. Sharing your opinion in the opening statement will actually help to create a smoother transition to the next paragraph. Right now, it seems like the first paragraph isn't really finished because you did not present your opinion of the quote. So when you suddenly jump to the next paragraph, there is a little shock on the part of the reviewer because of lacking or missing information in the previous paragraph. Overall though, the essay is pretty solid and clearly shows your ability to handle a scientific discussion, or debate, whatever you prefer to call it, in an insightful manner. This quality of discussion will certainly make the essay interesting to read and probably create a memory for the reviewer.

@Holt

I see. So, then if I simply combine the first two paragraph, do you think it would be enough?

In this quote, Professor Jagannathan explains the place of rigorous reasoning and empirical evidence in terms of their importance in mathematics and science. He states that rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, while empirical evidence from observation and experiments is vital in natural sciences. There has been a long time debate over whether the mathematical reasoning or empirical insight is more important to understand the Universe. I see the Universe as a book. While reading this book, knowing about the elements ...

Close but not quite. It was not necessary to combine the first two paragraphs. However, since you did that, we can make it work better by adding a simple sentence in the middle of it all. The sentence could go something like this:

While there has long been a debate about ... I am of the opinion that... mainly because I see the universe as a book...

By creating the ownership of an opinion, you create a more personal insight into the essay based upon your understanding of the quote or your belief in something other than the belief espoused by Professor Jagannathan. It will help to make the essay take on your character or personality, or your scientific ideology or belief.