Amherst common app supplement essay, need help revising it!

Life is full of difficulties and just approaching it, is consider an
achievement. In addition, the achievement will be more satisfying
because of the difficulties encounter through the process. In high
school, getting good grades were the top priority for my parents,
however, it calls for so much work.

I was in honors classes and AP classes throughout the four years,
but it was very difficult to keep my grades above average. Hence, the
high expectations from both of my parents caused me stress and
pressure that were immeasurable. I went through many sleepless nights,
disappointments, obstacles, but, at the end I was able to get through
high school by the support from my parents, friends and teachers.
Thus, I tried to be active in and out of school to keep me one hundred
percent sociable. I was molded by the happiness and the obstacles that
I went through to get to this point, where opportunities are unlimited.

Right now the difficulty of filling out college applications is
driving my mind wild. The comparison of good and bad colleges, the
college my parents want me to go to, and the college I want to go with
my friends are just some of the problems. However, I also had to
consider my reach schools and safety schools.

My college counselor told me just to get everything together and the
rest is just about organizing the information together. Yet, I still
feel unease about the quality of my college essay after three
conferences with my English teacher. However, the difficulty of the
college application does not foreshadow my despair because I know the
college application is a process every high school seniors go through
in their life and our hopes are high. I believed by doing my best in
writing the college essay, SAT, SAT subject test, and the last year of
high school I will get into a college of my choice. Hence, after the
acceptance letter I will feel more proud of myself and the
achievements because of the difficulty of the process. In addition,
difficulties bring us hope and the best of us out.

--> I don't really get this sentence...


--> difficulties encountered through the process.

English your second language?

wait, what is the prompt?

-You have a lot of tell, and not enough show. You know what I mean?
-I understand the stress and what not you are going through, being a senior myself and applying to colleges, but because of that reason, I feel like you should choose a different topic. Every undergraduate applying for this college is going through the same thing... I don't know if I'm "right" so can someone (essay forumers) help me on this?

-So, this essay doesn't really set you apart (make you unique) from other individuals...
-I hope i don't sound too rude or mean. I just want to help : )

Good Luck!

Life is full of difficulties, and for a person to even approaching life's difficulties should be considered an achievement.

The comparison of good and bad colleges, the college my parents want me to go to, and the college I want to attend with my friends are just some of the problems.

the prompt is

In addition to the essay you are asked to write as part of the Common Application, Amherst requires a second essay (250-500 words). We do not offer interviews as part of the application process at Amherst. However, your essays provide you with an opportunity to speak to us. Please keep this in mind when responding to one of the following quotations. It is not necessary to research, read, or refer to the text from which these quotations are taken; we are looking for original, personal responses to these short excerpts. Remember that your essay should be personal in nature and not simply an argumentative essay.

''Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted.''
Attributed to William Hastie, Amherst Class of 1925, first African-American to serve as a judge for the United States Court of Appeals

i dont have any other ideas on writing this promt. that y it is so vague in a sense i guess

''Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted.''
Attributed to William Hastie, Amherst Class of 1925, first African-American to serve as a judge for the United States Court of Appeals

Well, the classic (perhaps even cliched) way to answer this would be to tell a story about a time when you were facing a difficult task and how you achieved it. Make it personal, make it powerful. Pick something unique to you - something you really struggled with.

Just from the fact that you're applying to Amherst, I'm assuming that you're pretty strong academically. They can find that out from your transcript and SAT scores. Use this essay as a chance to show them other sides of you : passion, dedication, ability to bounce back etc

Revising it would be a mild term. You will have to write a new essay because I'm not interested in reading about your ongoing stresses submitted for consideration as part of an application.