Hello All,
I just finished my Columbia supplement. Unfortunately, I'm over the limit by 79 words. Your revision and critique is appreciated in advance. Thanks.
Tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why: (1500 characters)
What I knew of this Ivy League institution called Columbia was mostly vague; I knew nothing but the fact of its location and status as one of the world's intellectual centers. When I first entered the iron gates, I memorized by the expansive nature of the quad. Most markedly, I was intrigued by the colossal, ivory colored columns that formed the façade of quaint Low Library. "Who knew this is existed in New York?" was what I pondered to myself, a world so separate, unique, and genuine in comparison hidden in the monotonous gleam of windows on skyscrapers and swarms of tourists, businessmen, and taxis on a warm spring day. Yet, there was something about those towers and the bronze Alma Mater statue of Athena. I was reminded of the Greek and Roman philosophers and thinkers who continue to have strong influence on the diverse education of modern society. This speaks to Columbia's Core Curriculum with an emphasis on "rigorous training in analysis, argument, quantitative reasoning, logical inference and creative thinking" that I find most appealing. I believe that such skills are essential for becoming an effective and productive leader who faces challenges with intellect and common sense. Students at Columbia are required to "analyze historical eras, cultural contexts, and contemporary concerns "With the broadness of the Core Curriculum, attending Columbia would allow me to mature intellectually and become a well-versed, cultivated individual who is knowledgeable in a variety of fields. form a global perspective and gain a deeper understanding of humanity.
Your essay is really good, indeed. I just think u need to correct this one sentence. Y use passive here :D I think u can rewrite. For ex: "Who knew this has always been here, right in New York?"
Hope it helps. Good luck !!!
Plz help me with my essay. I really apprecite ur help!!! I rewrote it but no one helps me :((
I knew nothing but the fact of its
I knew nothing, but itsMost markedly
Most remarkably"Who knew this is existed in New York?"
"Who knew that it existed in New York?"variety of fields. form a global perspective and gain a deeper understanding of humanity.
variety of field, and to form a global perspective to gain a deeper understanding of humanity.I think you put too many quotes in your essay. Maybe paraphrase the "analyze historical eras, cultural contexts, and contemporary concerns" into your own words?
Overall, I think you did a good job explaining why you want to attend Columbia :)
