Three in the afternoon, my sister called me and asked whether I could go to the family physician with her afterschool.
"Are you feeling better?" I asked.
"Kind of, but I have been coughing since this morning."
"I learned from my Anatomy teacher that coughing means you are getting better from the cold. It is the body's way of getting toxins and waste from your lungs. So let's wait till tomorrow. Don't forget to drink lots of fluid!"
"Thanks. I have a lot of homework today anyway."
The next day, I received a thank you note in my room.
I like anatomy and physiology not only because I can apply to help my family, but also that I can truly understand and remember the human organs and structure through dissections. When we were studying the anatomy of the body, I had trouble identifying parts of the arm. But, after touching and seeing how the muscles interact with the bones during the chicken wing dissection, I was able to clearly visualize structure of the human arm. What's more, I understood how the biceps and triceps muscle affects the movement of the arm.
Because the class involves a copious amount of memorization and note taking, our teacher, Ms. Key endeavored to make the class intriguing by sharing her past experience as a nurse and linking her stories to the content that she was teaching. Every month, Ms. Key would have us sit in a circle. Then, she would give the symptoms of a number of patient and ask us to diagnose his or her disease. Such a seminar did not only make me feel like a medical doctor, but also remind me of the practical value of anatomy and physiology.
Hey! Thanks for reading my essay. For yours, I think that the beginning conversation between you and your sister sounds a little, well, fake; especially the part about the thank-you note. I just don't totally buy it. Also:
-in the beginning, afterschool should be after school
-avoid using the words "copious" and "endeavored", it kind of sounds like you looked them up in a thesaurus
-"I like anatomy and physiology not only because I can apply to help my family..." this transition sentence is very, very awkward. "apply to help" doesn't make sense.
-conclusion seems incredibly abrupt
-the essay as a whole, especially after the diologue part, seems to lack a central purpose. What exactly are you trying to tell the reader?
Hope this helps :)
