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'anatomy, yoga, and nutritional chemistry books' - Johns Hopkins

DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 24, 2011   #1
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose?

Curled up in a sofa at the library, I sat among stacks of anatomy, yoga, and nutritional chemistry books, and researched. I was three months into my Arangetram training and already, things had become difficult: my spine affected my form, my anemia caused low endurance, and my intolerance toward sugars made me weak.

During childhood, I developed scoliosis, kyphosis, and lordosis--problems that became the source of other health complications. I was forced to wear a back brace, a constricting contraption that spurred the onset of breathing problems and did nothing to align my spine. Allergic to nearly every food, my nutrition intake was poor, and I had adverse reactions to most medication.

During my Arangetram training, however, I began studying Eastern treatments and began integrating them with Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Technique (NAET). Highly attuned to the human body, I was able to analyze the biochemical processes of movement based on certain food and drink consumed, and target specific organs or muscles to strengthen them through acupressure or yoga. By practicing these methods, I successfully treated my physical hindrances and allergies, further strengthening myself with proper nutrition.

My experiences have motivated me to bridge the gap between Eastern and Western medical practices through scientific validity. I hope to conduct research in either chemical and biomolecular engineering, or biophysics, in the hopes that I may dedicate my work to those individuals who, such as myself, do not react well to conventional treatment.

priscillaaa 1 / 29  
Dec 24, 2011   #2
I love how personal this is; you kind of opened up and showed how through vulnerability can come strength.
The only problem I had (and this may be because I'm from the US?) is that I have no idea what Arangetrams are..they sound like some kind of test?

I would appreciate if you could critique my essay as well..thanks (:
OP DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 24, 2011   #3
Priscillaaa: The reason I didn't define what an Arangetram is, is because it's already defined in my resume and my common app essay. But it's basically a 2.5 hour solo debut in an indian classical dance :) Thank you so much!! Of course :)
priscillaaa 1 / 29  
Dec 24, 2011   #4
You learn something new everyday :)
OP DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 24, 2011   #5
Concluding sentence: It is my desire to open up new avenues for research and actively engage in promoting the expansion of knowledge in the health sciences.

Is that a good wrap-up?
priscillaaa 1 / 29  
Dec 24, 2011   #6
sounds good to me (:
it'd be even better if you could weave the school's name into the last sentence. that gives it a nice personal, concluding feel.
Ramo 2 / 11  
Dec 25, 2011   #8
Curled up on a sofa at the library, I sat among stacks of anatomy, yoga, and nutritional chemistry books, and researched (Awkward phrasing, the clause can't stand alone like that. Researched what? Or maybe say "and began to research").

Excellent essay! Your ending is simply perfect. It clearly states your intentions and if filled with passion which makes it all the more extraordinary. The essay is very personal and fuels sympathy, in a positive light of course. It makes me, and I'm sure it will make the admission officers, realize your struggles and how you have overcome them. You do not use them as an excuse, but rather you use them as building blocks to accomplish something phenomenal! Great job.

P.S. if you don't mind can you check out my Yale supplement? Only if you have time though, reading your essay was an honor =)
OP DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 25, 2011   #9
Usman: Thank you :D
Ramo: Thank you so much :) !!! Of course; I can read it right now :)
sm09 1 / 17  
Dec 27, 2011   #10
WOW. this is really good Desi. I hope you get in. Its really personal and reveals a lot about you.
Could you please help me with mine if you have time.
deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 27, 2011   #11
In the beginning you describe a situation where you are weak and had problems.
However you do not pick this up later on.
Try to incorporate it somehow maybe in the third paragraph or to start differently
OP DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 28, 2011   #12
Simb a meki: Thank you so very much :)
Max Hasin: Okay, I'll try to incorporate something that ties those two ideas together. Thank you so much!
OP DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 28, 2011   #13
I actually do mention it again (end of 3rd paragraph). I say that I treated those physical hindrances and allergies. But thank you for the input :)

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