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"Is Anger ever Beneficial?" - Feedback?


gummz88 1 / 2  
Jan 30, 2011   #1
Hi, I'm writing an essay in English on whether anger is ever beneficial or not. English is not my first language, so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I am to represent a thesis statement (anger is a friend worth keeping) and three supporting paragraphs to support the thesis statement which are introduced in the introductory paragraph (the first paragraph), and a conclusion in the end. I am also to provide 2-3 examples (preferably 3) in each supportive paragraph. The teacher gives points to me by: writing coherently and having correct spelling, vocabulary, punctuation, verb tenses and grammar. She also checks for any sayings or words you would only use in informal writing or in general speaking.


Is Anger ever Beneficial?

I like success. Whether it is merely a small victory over the washing machine or a triumph in a long-lasting debate, the objective is the same: to succeed. With success in mind, I must do all it takes and employ all manners of attempts that are necessary. Consequently, anger is a friend worth keeping. Completing a difficult task, defending yourself, and getting your point across are all examples of how anger can be beneficial.

First of all, once one is confronted with a difficult task, anger can indeed help in making one determined when finishing one's goal. I can not count with reasonable certainty how often I have grown frustrated when studying for an exam. If there is a huge pile of papers to go through or if there is a math problem I can not solve, for instance. Getting angry at these things can make one shout at the papers like a madman, but it can in many cases motivate one to study for a longer peiod as well, which has happaned quite a few times in my case. Similarly, if one plays an instrument, I can say with absolute certitude that that person has gotten frustrated at his or her instrument. It is only too frustrating when you have rehearsed a challenging piece a hundred times but you still can not play it correctly. I once got so angry that I threw my guitar on the ground and walked out of the room with a storm cloud over my head, but I practiced thrice as hard the next day.

Anger is likewise often one of the most effective ways of defending oneself. If one is being bullied, one might just manage to intimidate the bully enough so that he or she will back off, at least for a while. In addition to protecting oneself from every day things like bullies, anger can transform oneself into something entirely inhuman, such as when a mother nullifies the fear of death when fighting for her child. It really is quite remarkable how women gain superhuman strength when both anger and their child are involved, not to mention a similar case, the monstrous fury of an enraged knight in white protecting his lady from harm.

Lastly but not least is getting your point across. Getting your point across is an important part in our daily life as human beings, for we often need to argue why we are right and why the person you are arguing with is wrong. We become angry because we are unhappy with how things are, and thus we want to alter them. A great many enhancements in our society have been made with the instrumentality of anger, say the American War of Independence and Civil war, and the French Revolution. If anger would not have been used in struggles in the past, one can only imagine how our world would be today.

Anger has shaped our world to the better through the ages by countless societal changes. Some of those changes may not have been to the better, but fortunately the majority of them have been. Nevertheless, one must not forget that although anger can and has led many a person to utter destruction when channeled improperly, it can also serve as a powerful associate through one's life.
Belle15 5 / 11  
Jan 30, 2011   #2
I can not count with reasonable certainty how often I have grown frustrated when studying for an exam. If there is a huge pile of papers to go through or if there is a math problem I can not solve, for instance.

I cannot count with reasonable certainty how often I have grown frustrated when studying for an exam. If there is a huge pile of papers to go through or if there is a math problem I can not solve, for instance.

I cannot count with reasonable certainty how often I have grown frustrated when studying for an exam. If there is a huge pile of papers to go through or if there is a math problem I can not solve, for instance.

I cannot count with reasonable certainty how often I have grown frustrated when studying for an exam; for instance if there is a huge pile of papers to go through or if there is a math problem I can not solve.

A great many enhancements in our society have been made with the instrumentality of anger, say the American War of Independence and Civil war, and the French Revolution.

A great many enhancements in our society have been made with the instrumentality of anger, say the American War of Independence, the Civil war, and the French Revolution.

Nevertheless, one must not forget that although anger can and has led many a person to utter destruction when channeled improperly, it can also serve as a powerful associate through one's life.

Nevertheless, one must not forget that although anger can and has led a person to utter destruction when channeled improperly, it can also serve as a powerful associate through one's life.

or

Nevertheless, one must not forget that although anger can and has led many people to utter destruction when channeled improperly, it can also serve as a powerful associate through one's life.
OP gummz88 1 / 2  
Jan 31, 2011   #3
Thanks alot!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 5, 2011   #4
Completing a difficult task, defending yourself, and getting your point across are all examples of how anger can be beneficial.

These are also examples of situations in which anger can be detrimental. I think your intro paragraph needs another sentence that will tell a bit more detail to make the initial argument more... solid.

You should use cannot instead of can not.

You write very well! The best way for me to give advice is not about grammar or structure, because you are already very good, but instead I need to tell you about how to make a stronger argument: refute the counterargument. Google this: rogerian argument

When it is easy for someone to make a strong argument against your argument, you NEED to address that argument in your essay. It is easy to make an argument like, "It is possible to summon courage or energy without being angry." So... you have to address that, modify what you are saying, and really give a complete discussion by dealing both with your own argument and that counter-argument.

:-)


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