I would really appreciate some comments and thoughts on how to make it better and look more professional.
Hello savannah college of art and design representatives and staff, I would like to thank you on my behalf for taking the time in reading my purpose and reasoning for why I have all the right to get accepted into this school.
T
hroughout my life I have always wanted to be a Animator. It has been a lifelong goal of mine to achieve since I was a kid. From my years of being in school from elementary school to high school, many ,people always told me I was special and that I had a gift but I already knew that from the beginning from the time I was born and so did my family. The people I have met on my journey have been so inspirational to me in my life.
In my time of growing up, spending much time with my teachers in Georgia who were dedicated to teaching me the basic School fundamentals but also growing up from two different schools and states that had two different life styles was a challenge till I gotten use to the Georgia life. I had created a strong, family bond with my teachers who were to me like second moms all my teacher knew I had artistic potential when they first meet me. I was always had a creative mind to chase my dream and for the love of my passion I had received the best artist award in 2001in elementary school. And I never stopped my art career yet.
When it came to proceeding to high school, My academics grades aren't that good but I had enrolled myself into drawing and painting art class cause I wanted the learn the basic fundamental aspect, rules, and different styles of art had to offer, with a lot of sketchbook assignments that i have done over the past year I had put every dedication, sweet into every piece, My art teacher who reviewed the students portfolio, she recommended 4 students to go into GHP art myself included, and we got accepted into the NAHS but I couldn't do it cause I had to do my first year of art along with that I'm did summer pieces trying to get in AP art.
This shows my dedication into the field of animation, also doing other extra activities in school receiving two Wrestling Varsity letters and 3 medals, Track, Wrestling Area 4th place, Middle school wrestling 4th place both sports having great disciplined and dedication along with Outside activities taking Summer Courses at Clayton state university: Animation unleashed, Its alive! Teen animation, Stop motion animation, Create your own video game. All the classes retained to animation related
I also got a scholarship from the Art instruction school in addition.
My mother gave me my courage and my determination who was always there, through the good and bad, she always told me and my two brothers that we were going to be successful, with me in my art, my older brother with his music and my little brother with sports. She gave us the mind set to push to reach our goals and In my peruse of the top art school that offers, My course of interest that I wish to major in animation that has same drive and the education needed and SCAD had that to offer for students who wants to excel in their passion for the arts
First of all, remove the "Hello"
Second: dont say : "I have all the right t get accepted" you sound arrogant. say something lie : " why I should be considered as a strong applicant"
third: :"from the time i was born"? did you even know what animation was when you just came out of you mother's womb?
No slang like "till"
Correct other spelling/grammar mistakes
Throughout my life have always wanted to be an Animator. It has been a lifelong goal of mine to achieve since I was a kid. From my years of being in school from elementary school to high school, many (No comma) people always told me I was special and that I had a gift but I already knew that from the beginning from the time I was born and so did my family. The people I have met on my journey have been so inspirational to me in my life.
...Why did you want to be an Animator? What inspired you to develop such passion? You need to tell them that. Also, why people said that you were special? What made them to say so?
If you answer those questions you would come up with a more convincing response. When you talk through incidents or experiences, they are more powerful in convincing your case than the statements you make.
