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Short answer (violin) / gap year explanation


graceee 3 / 8  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Short Answer:
I am Asian girl. Everyone expects me to be like Sarah Chang or Yo-Yo Ma. My inability to be a music genius disappointed me in my childhood. At the age of 11, I lost my passion and love for music. As I immigrated to the United States, however, music has been my best friend. Because of my language barrier, I struggled to form a friendship. Musical notes, thankfully, are a universal language. While playing violin enabled me to make friends by sharing the same passion and interest, the Salem Youth Symphony offered the challenges that developed me to be an advanced violinist. Through this activity, I learned to discipline myself, including dedication to practice daily and responsibility to analyze different interpretations. I realized perseverance results in progress, which became my work ethic that I apply to every aspect of life.

Gap Year Explanation:
Frogs are widely known as exceptional jumpers. When they prepare themselves for a jump, they first flex their forelegs. Then, they stretch their hind legs vertically and lock the muscles. And...jump! Surprisingly, they can easily jump over two meters. The secret to this astonishing jumping skill is their hindlimb muscles. Stretching their hindlimb muscles in crouching positions allows them to generate the mechanical energy that propels them into the air. Metaphorically, a gap year is the frogs' hindlimb muscles because it prepares a student to start a new journey with maturity and confidence, which ultimately leads to a success in college. Before I start my next ten years of education beyond high school, I want to take this time to step back and reflect my values. What is success? The misconception of 'success' results in famous professionals with hundreds of awards wondering if all their work was worth it. Without taking a year off, I would have been one of them; mold myself into the society's image of success. The real success is achievable only when I fully understand myself. From my experience, I recognized the value of my culture after exposing myself in another culture. Similarly, I will be able to define my values after interacting with people with different backgrounds and perspectives. I plan to travel around the world in my gap year and I hope to gain life experiences that would enrich my perspective on personal values, thus preparing myself for a life-altering challenge-surviving in a college.

Please edit/revise this! Thanks :)
ailibai 8 / 21  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
I am an Asian girl...My inability to be a musical genius disappointed me in my childhoodas a child

...offered the challenges that developed me to behelped me become an advanced violinist

Stretching their hindlimb muscles in crouching positions allows them to generate the mechanical energy that propels them into the air.

Metaphorically, a gap year is the frogs' hindlimb muscles.becauseI t prepares a student to start a new journey with maturity and confidence, which ultimately leads to a success in college. Before I start my next ten years of education beyond high school, I want to take this time to step back and reflect on my values.

Without taking a year off, I would have been one of them, molding myself into the society's image of success. TheR eal success is achievable only when I fully understand myself. From my experience, I recognized the value of my culture after exposing myself in another culture.I had to expose myself to another culture before I recognized the value of my own. Similarly, I will be able to define my values afterby interacting with people with different backgrounds and perspectives. I plan to travel around the world in my gap year, and I hope to gain life experiences that wouldwill enrich my perspective on personal values, thus preparing myself for a life-altering challenge-- surviving in a college.

Well done! I really see where you are coming from.
OP graceee 3 / 8  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
Thank you so much! :)
aona105 7 / 38  
Dec 28, 2010   #4
short answer: it's well written essay I think! Very logical, that made me easy to fallow the story. it's just my personal suggestion, but what about mentioning your present "passion and love" for music in last paragraph? I understood well about what you learned, but I just wanted to know whether you love music now :) but it doesn't need to be written I think! just my suggestion :]

gap year explanation: the you explain about jump of frogs are just a little bit long, I think. I think you can make it shorter and compact so that it would be smoothly connected to the part written about yourself.

anyway, both are nice essays :)
OP graceee 3 / 8  
Dec 29, 2010   #5
I made some changes and your suggestions helped a lot! I totally agree with you! I thought the frog part was too long too.. ;) Thank you for your suggestions!


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