Short Answer about voluntary officework

Hello, I was stuck for ideas until I remembered something I used to do last year, which was simply "office work" for my school. I wrote something, but I'm unsure if it's good enough or not. I'm also having difficulties thinking of a good conclusion.

Any suggestions or criticism will be appreciated.
Thanks.
Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

The rapid clicking sounds of the keyboard and the low humming noise of the air conditioner were customary to me. Feeding a computer names isn't a job people would want to do, especially in their free time, but it's one I did for two, three, maybe even four hours a week, all in my free time at school. I believed that instead of spending time doing nothing, work, to some extent, was a more productive mean of utilizing my time. I liked what I did, it taught me patience and fortitude, gave me a sense of responsibility and rewarded me with a sense of accomplishment; in addition to that, I made friends with a couple of students and teachers.

I think you could try 'are' since the detailed description before makes it to understand you're remembering the exact moment. Just a suggestion, not necessary.


Maybe: Feeding names into a computer... the sentence structure makes it less confusing (again, not strictly necessary.)


isn't a job people a lot would like to do (you seem to be generalizing; who knows? Maybe there's someone that enjoys it.)


especially during their free time


all in my free time at school


accomplishment. In addition to that, I made friends with a couple of students and teachers.

The essay is pretty good overall, though I think that's a pretty poor conclusion. If you didn't talk about it in your whole essay, perhaps it shouldn't be the definite end? Maybe you could say something like 'All in all, I found that I could get many things out of working a job many people would consider dull' or something along those lines.

Good luck!

Thanks a lot for your reply, I've corrected my mistakes and added your suggestion. (I hope you don't mind, since I'm really terrible at conclusions and short of time)

Now 140 words, 742 characters.

It feels as if there's something missing in the end, though.

Should be 'a lot of people'
My mistake!

As for the end, you could try quickly elaborating on the people you met. That sentence seems to come out of the blue, too suddenly.

Maybe you find the 'all in all' part to technical, your style seems to be less structured. You could try, 'It may not be the greatest job in the world, but it's a good enough job, and I've found that the benefits are worth working for.' Or something along those lines :)

Hope I helped.
Good luck!

was a more productive mean -> The word "mean" seems somewhat awkward here. I would replace it with "way" or something.

I liked what I did, it taught -> instead of the comma, insert the word "because", it flows much better

Good response!

Hey, what if I crossed the students and teachers part and kind of finished it off, like this?
Also, thanks for pointing out the "did, it" part, it does flow better.
P.S: Sorry if I'm dragging this a bit far, I don't have much time left and I want to submit a good essay. :(