Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
Here is the essay I feel it needs work, and im open to honest comments. thanks again
My high school, like every other, holds an anti-bullying rally annually. Every year, I have held the same facial expression and level of interest. All of the teachers, principals, and school officials from the district would fan out across the auditorium, and several speakers will educate the student body on the effects of bullying.
I could not fully grasp the effects of bullying. Since elementary, kids have always been nasty to each other; this was always a part of my social norm. It's been this way for many generations. Kids in my city don't show weakness, and as far as I've seen no one commits suicide. Instead they get even, and fight back, literally. For some small background my peers and I have all been bred with the same "morals" that if someone puts their hands on you, you defend yourself at all costs. The motto was and still is "Fight fire with more fire!" and in addition to that ignorance the demographics of South Dallas played a huge part in this yet that never mattered to because all anyone needed was respect from your peers; this was part of survival.
A five year old girl actually changed how I felt about bullying. She was five years old, outgoing, friendly, surprisingly funny, and she was my niece. To hear she was experiencing problems was not only disgusting, but shocking. This incredibly sweet girl was entirely too young, too innocent to undergo this type of trauma that will never leave her. However we're from the same family, and we are bred from the same morals, so why is this happening? She was taught to fight back. Tension ran high when she began coming home with new bruises and scars, or getting calls from her teachers. Until one day, she slipped up and shared something with me. She let on that she did not want to live anymore and that she was unhappy. A five year old, lost and confused about what's next, can you imagine? I grew sick just hearing this. No excuses, or teacher conference was enough to contain our family; to contain our anger, the disappointment in the school, and our confusion on how this could have gotten this far.
A year later and when I look at her that time period cannot leave me. Bullying is alive; and this was my mistake in being ignorant to it all. This plague holds the power to consume anyone, and shows no mercy. I've grown used to seeing kids in this day and age being cruel, I'd lost sight that there are people who have the ability to fight violence without using violence. My generation was strong because that was our only option, but who can defend those who are exposed and vulnerable?
Here is the essay I feel it needs work, and im open to honest comments. thanks again
Well... I feel you should give more focus to your niece's story first and then talk about your feelings how they did impact you. I mean, this is what I feel if you want to align your response more with the prompt;
Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
At the beginning of your response, it is not clear to us what you really try to tell. So, my suggestion is to take the niece's experience first and then discuss your feelings and confusion and so on. :)
