Is my structure ok?
I dont know what else I should talk about??
2nd prompt
The anxiety and excitement that runs through my body before I start racing is my favorite feeling. I have a passion for running and competing. One day in middle school, my friend ran up to me excitedly and said, "Lily! Try out track with me!" and just for fun, I did. Not knowing where it would take me today, I made the team and raced during my junior high and high school years. As a senior, I am now the leader and captain of the track team.
Since I am a role model for our team, I am always looking to do the right thing. I have responsibilities during practices and meets: making sure that every runner has the right equipment, knows where to check-in, knows how to count steps for the relay, and how to not get disqualified. There are many times when my younger teammates will not know what to do and get scared and I have to help them out and encourage them that they will run well.
Last year at our league meet for finals, my coach asked me to assist Lora, a freshmen, because she was going to start for our varsity relay team, which had to race in fifteen minutes. I was frightened when he asked that of me because our team has always been so solid, and throwing in a younger girl for finals scared us. I had to make sure that she was warmed up and stretched, did not have any jewelry on, knew how to start in blocks, and how to hand off the baton. I did what I was told by my coach and slowly explained to her what she needed to do and how to do it. Lora said she understood me and thanked me for my help then we had to get on the track to get ready to race. Since I was anchor, the last person to run on the four-by-one team, I was uneasy about Lora starting.
As soon as the gun went off, she exploded out of the blocks, she was flying! She ran so well and had a perfect hand off with the next runner. I waited anxiously for the baton to reach me, once I received it; I got out and ran to finish the race. Even though we did not get first, we got second place and broke our school record. Meeting up with the girls after the race was amazing knowing what we just accomplished. We were so excited about our outstanding performance. Lora thanked me again and said that she could not have done it without me.
Running and competing in track has really improved my attitude and respect for other athletes because I know how much they train to get to where they effort takes them. I feel that being a part and leading this team during my high school years has really kept me out of trouble. Instead of making wrong actions, I help friends makes right ones. All the accomplishments during track has made me very proud because my coach and the sport itself has really built my character. I have learned to struggle through tough times, work with others, and tackle my problems until the finish line.
your essay is good but you do have minor mistakes.
I have ran for my school every year for seven years. As a senior, I am now the leader and captain of my track team. I have learned and grown so much form it
and know what not to do to get disqualified
track has given me more than I expected.
You have some minor grammar issues, corrected by "mmmmaragarita". I think that you should also work in some detail and imagery. You can explain what goes on inside your head when you're competing or how you feel when you win. You could include a specific experience with a teamate or in a race. I don't think you need to reiterate that you are committed to the sport, seeing as you've been a long-time devoted participant according to the beginning of the essay.
