'never did anything exceptionally horrible' - Disciplinary Essay for Umich

I'm a transfer student coming out of a community college and am applying to the University of Michigan. I tended to get into trouble my early high school years and I'm now well into my junior year of college. I have changed dramatically since then and want to express that in my disciplinary history essay (it's required on the common application if applicable).

The prompt:

Have you ever been found responsible for a disciplinary violation at any educational institution you have attended from the 9th grade (or the international equivalent) forward, whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in a disciplinary action?

Here it is:

I've grown much as a person and intend to keep doing so. But everyone has their low-points; mine was as a trouble-maker. The only grade I had ever gotten into real trouble was my 9th grade year of high school. Coming out of a really bad 8th grade year at a different school (being bullied), the new one was even worse. There was a point where I could either slowly meld into a group of "friends" or be the victim of these peoples' ridicule and torment. I chose the former because the thought of going through an even worse year than the previous terrified me. This decision came with baggage: being somewhat rebellious to impress these "friends." I never did anything exceptionally horrible because of my aversion to disappoint my elders, especially my parents. I never bullied anyone, and when it occurred, I couldn't stop it out of risk of being in their position (secretive visits to the counselor and teachers were the answer). The extent of my misdeeds included breaking a window (it was an accident. It was a lower pane that one of my friends was leaning on from the other side while sitting down. I kicked it to get his attention and it broke) and excessive talking while in class. These incidents resulted in after-school detentions and one suspension for the window. I can't remember very many specific instances, let alone dates. I just know they happened sporadically throughout my freshman year and the beginning of my sophomore year.

It scares me to think where I would be now if I had stayed in that school. My sophomore year I transferred to a school that was much more disciplined and required uniforms. I was able to concentrate more on my studies there because bullying was never an issue. By the time my senior year had ended, I won many academic honors and awards, was captain of both the cross-country and track team and graduated with honors from the National Technical Honor Society.

What did I learn from my trouble-making? I never want to be that again. The thought makes me shudder. I regret so much that the actions and thoughts of others made such an impact on me that it would cause me to behave so idiotically. Much of my high school experience was wasted being the object of other's approval. I am definitely a changed individual now, for the better.

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I don't want to come off too begging or preachy, but I am going for a passionate prompt explaining how I'm not the person I used to be. Please tell me if this is what I've accomplished and if not, please provide suggestions on what to change.

Thank you!

Just a couple of things I noticed.

- Your first problem is the wordiness. For example you started numerous sentences with "I." This link helped me with that situation. collegeapps.about.com/od/essays/ss/College-Essay-Style-Tips.htm

- Work on your introduction, try using a reflective tone. For example: "Whenever I Look back on my high school days, I realize how much I've grown."

i really agree with kenya about how there was too much repetition of the word I in every sentence.

Wow...the essay is really sounding better! Really like it