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'anything like the Rosen campus' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?


dreifusse 1 / -  
Jul 4, 2010   #1
Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

Ever since I was young, I always knew I was not like my fellow students growing up in the small town of Tonganoxie, Kansas. While my classmates enjoyed remaining close to home, I always had dreams of getting far away and escaping the clichïs of farms, sunflowers and ruby slippers. As I grew older, my obsession with traveling the world entranced me, almost becoming an obsession rather than a passion. It was at that time I realized that the industry of tourism and travel was my calling. Keeping that in mind, I knew that in order to be successful it was necessary to attend a college that would provide a promising future and a powerful degree, so I created a list of colleges that fit my needs and I hopped on a plane headed towards Florida.

I remember how indescribable the feeling was, never before had I seen anything like the Rosen campus at The University of Central Florida. I felt weak in the knees and for the first time in my life, the questions which continuously pestered my indecisive mind vanished. I have never believed in destiny, nor fate, and I personally believed that love at first sight is an unrealistic idea used by people with their heads too far in the clouds, but this, this simply blew everything I ever believed in right out of the water. Although it was the very first school I was to visit, just one minute on the campus made me fall in love. The other schools on my list that had looked so promising seemed to fade away, leaving nothing but three letters on my paper, UCF.

I found it impossible to not feel warm and at home on Rosen's beautiful, resort style campus. The guides and all the other prospecting students were warm and friendly, embracing questions and conversing with style and ease. I admired the modern, technology friendly classrooms and truly appreciated how the University of Central Florida offered a larger school advantage with a smaller school atmosphere. Normally I would feel hesitant about what classes and clubs to join in college, but UCF seemed to offer such an infinite amount of options for students that I found myself unable to decide which one I was going to join first. Unlike every other college, I have discussed the University of Central Florida to every counselor, tutor, and teacher I know and have heard nothing but praise. Never before have I seen or heard of such an amazing, well commended school.

As soon as I returned to the Sunflower State the only thing I could think about was your university. Compared to UCF, the other schools that had looked so glamorous and professional seemed pitiful and pointless. I only had my heart set on one school, and I was prepared to try my hardest to get in. There is one lesson living in Kansas has taught me, and that is "there's no place like home", however, there is one lesson The University of Central Florida has taught me, that I never really knew home until I visited your school.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Jul 4, 2010   #2
As I grew older, my obsession with traveling the world entranced me, almost becoming an obsession rather than a passion...what are you trying to say? Maybe, you can use this...As I grew older, my interest in traveling the world became an obsession rather than a passion

But, still, obsession? Isn't it a pejorative? My suggestion would be to use a different word, one which has a positive connotation.

Two important points
1) Say some other things about the university, like, their courses, faculty etc. and I mean some details .You may include the fact that you like the campus but, use fewer words.

2) Mention a specific goal
Madu410 2 / 6  
Jul 7, 2010   #3
i think that you need to add more reasons why do you want to study tourism, because as from your first paragraph it seems like you just like traveling and that's all. you should include what does this field cover and that you are interested in this.

as far as it is an admission essay, i think you should add why do they need to choose you, include your goals and may be achievements or just write what differs you from all other applicants.


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