can anyone help me edit ?
i feel a bit weird about my writing when i browse through other candidate's why essay
because other ppl are more or less concentrating on columbia, while i am kinda talking all about myself...
your comments will be welcomed ~! thanx
and i am not an english native speaker, hence grammar-wise, please help to pinpoint all the errors
be harsh please:)
Please do believe me that my world was suddenly lightened up with vivid coloration when I saw the Columbia-Juilliard Exchange and the highly refined music programs in Columbia on the website. At the age of 16, I was forced to choose between academic and piano profession. Being equally strong in both, 8th in high school entrance exams and 2nd in international piano competition, I found it hard to resolve. Uncertainty and timidity induced the choice of a normal path, leaving my beloved music merely as an interest. However, I regretted, although I knew neither would be sound. Many nights, I lay on the bed with the same vision popping up over and over again, a splendid concert hall, a grand Steinway & sons and a young pianist, sometimes, Krystian Zimerman, sometimes, Lang Lang and sometimes, I saw a blurred myself. Now, I feel extremely lucky having discovered that my dream college, Columbia, provides such an incredible opportunity. It will be the perfect moment to seize the teenage dream. I know that competition will be immense, but it worth a concrete fight. Interested in both Economics and music, I feel that studying at the world financial centre in a promising college, yet holding firmly on my music is simply amazing. Given the extraordinary Economics and Music departments and professors, the undergraduate core programs and highly reputable on-campus symphony orchestra, I will be feeling like in a heaven beyond imagination.
i feel a bit weird about my writing when i browse through other candidate's why essay
because other ppl are more or less concentrating on columbia, while i am kinda talking all about myself...
your comments will be welcomed ~! thanx
and i am not an english native speaker, hence grammar-wise, please help to pinpoint all the errors
be harsh please:)
Please do believe me that my world was suddenly lightened up with vivid coloration when I saw the Columbia-Juilliard Exchange and the highly refined music programs in Columbia on the website. At the age of 16, I was forced to choose between academic and piano profession. Being equally strong in both, 8th in high school entrance exams and 2nd in international piano competition, I found it hard to resolve. Uncertainty and timidity induced the choice of a normal path, leaving my beloved music merely as an interest. However, I regretted, although I knew neither would be sound. Many nights, I lay on the bed with the same vision popping up over and over again, a splendid concert hall, a grand Steinway & sons and a young pianist, sometimes, Krystian Zimerman, sometimes, Lang Lang and sometimes, I saw a blurred myself. Now, I feel extremely lucky having discovered that my dream college, Columbia, provides such an incredible opportunity. It will be the perfect moment to seize the teenage dream. I know that competition will be immense, but it worth a concrete fight. Interested in both Economics and music, I feel that studying at the world financial centre in a promising college, yet holding firmly on my music is simply amazing. Given the extraordinary Economics and Music departments and professors, the undergraduate core programs and highly reputable on-campus symphony orchestra, I will be feeling like in a heaven beyond imagination.
