Thank You in advance!
Finding out that I could not graduate with the kids I grew up with for 12 years was probably one of the hardest things for me to handle. The second hardest thing for me to handle was the fact that I had to obtain my GED. My initial thought about this was that everyone is going to think of me as a failure because I graduated in a very unconventional way. It was at that time my perseverance went into full drive. I decided I would break away from the social stigma of the GED and show that I could be successful.
As long as I can remember I was seen as a leader to all my peers and the adults around me. I had built up a reputation of always trying to be the best I can possibly be.When I had to tell parents that I was obtaining my GED, you could tell by the look of disgust on their face that they were very wrong about me. They were very wrong, this GED was not the end of me, if anything, it has empowered me. From the time I found out that I would have a whole year to myself, I started doing a million and one things. I started my own production company with my friend, I have started reading more classic literature and have been helping out with the Hands on Orlando doing community Service.
The fact that I managed to overcome this obstacle in my life shows that anything that life hands me I will be able to handle it. I don't think that college will be any different. College will be a new part of my life that I am willing to embrace with open arms. Being the "unconventional student" (by every definition of the word), I know that the odds are against me. If admitted into the University of Florida, I will overcome any preconceived notions about my past to pave the way to a very bright and above average future.
Like obtaining my GED and not being able to graduate with my friends, going to college is an obstacle I have to tackle. If accepted into the University of Florida, I would take all the things I have learned this last year about perseverance and conquering obstacles and apply that to the many responsibilities that I will have while being an active member of the UF community.
HELP! This is due by Sunday!
I will read your essays!
This is a really good essay. The only thing that I am asking myself is why you had to get the GED. If it is something negative, I still think you need to be up front about it and turn it into a positive.
Also just a few suggestions:
Change this sentence from ...It was at that time my perseverance went into full drive...It was at this time that my perseverence went into full drive. Just reads a little smoother.
Please also read mine. It is titled, My life as a Quadratic Equation. I would really appreciate the help.
Thanks for the idea! I still have 100 words to spare!
Anyone else wanna take a crack at this essay!
I agree with joshgesa, you should be up front and talk about WHY you had to get a GED.
Also:
When I had to tell parents that I was obtaining my GED, you could tell by the look of disgust on their facesthat they were very wrong about me.
-very wrong about what? Be specific because in the next sentence you say "They were wrong" as a contradiction to the previous sentence.
Parallelism issues:
I started my own production company with mya friend, I have started reading more classic literature
maybe change the next part to: and I even participated in community service projects with Hand On Orlando
This is my first time posting on this forum and I hope my edits weren't too confusing! I really like your essay though.
could read my essay?
It's titled "Why I want to become a nurse"
Any feedback would be great.
Thank You so much! I will look at your essay right now!
anyone else wanna try!
Finding out that I could not graduate with the students with whom I studied for twelve years...
Hey, this is pretty good! You know, getting a GED is just as impressive as graduating high school. When you are older you'll see the GED differently. High school is often dysfunctional.
Can you combine all the stuff about the GED into one succinct paragraph? After that, balance it with a paragraph all about an intellectual aspiration you are passionate about! Maybe getting the GED was meaningful because it is the first step toward becoming a ...psychotherapist from the existentialist tradition maybe? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_therapy
I agree with those above me: if you decide to choose earning your GED as a topic, you'll probably have to explain why you didn't go to high school in the first place. If the reason is something completely negative, then earning your GED might not be the right topic (unless you can somehow incorporate in your essay how something 'negative' turned into something 'positive'). Depending on what the reason is for not completing high school, earning a GED might not be a good topic (unless the reason were somewhat understandable. For example, if you got pregnant and had to drop out. You can somehow incorporate how being a parent has taught you responsibility and how to balance certain aspects of your life.)
Overall, it's a good essay- but there's one part:
When I had to tell parents that I was obtaining my GED, you could tell by the look of disgust on their face that they were very wrong about me
Change it to: When I had to tell parents that I was obtaining my GED, you could tell by the look of disgust on their face (now add what you can tell by the look of disgust- perhaps, "you could tell by the look of disgust on their face that they believed I was a failure. But they were very wrong." or "you could tell by the look of disgust on their face that they believed the GED to be the end of me. But they were very wrong.")
Best of luck!
P.S- please check my essay. It's "UF Application Essay-8th grade failure turns into high school academic excellence"
