Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Ever since the young age of five, I have been taking piano lessons. I remember the day I first sat down on the bench of a piano and, with my tiny little hands, plucked away at the keys in every which way I desired. Of course, I've come a long way since those eleven years back, and thanks to the guidance of my piano teachers, have progressed into playing songs belonging to Bach and Chopin. But my story does not just end there. As a student involved in many other activities, I definitely faced trials along the way. I found it hard to make time for practicing, and often went days on end without even giving the piano a second glance. At one point in time, I had become so frustrated with minute problems such as the fact that my hands, being exceptionally small in size, made it hard to quickly reach for chords. Thankfully, my parents, after having realized the cause of my frustration, talked me out of this nonsense idea, and pushed me to continue to try my best in playing the instrument.
Despite the fact that I eventually grew a liking towards playing the piano on my leisure time, it was not until I became involved in volunteering at a local convalescent center that I actually experienced a transformation of sorts. One day near the end of freshman year, I, along with my mom, went to the convalescent home to pay a visit to a dear neighbor of ours who had recently undergone surgery. While there, I noticed an old piano sitting near the corner of a dark room, but did not give it much thought. After strolling through the narrow hallways of the home and briefly glancing over the faces of the elders, I realized how depressing it must feel to have to be confined in such a small area for great lengths of time. My thoughts flashed back to when I saw the piano in the room, and right away, I knew there was something I could do for the patients.
A few months later, I made my second appearance at the convalescent home, except this time, I was not a visitor. I was a piano player. As I pulled the bench out from beneath the piano and sat down on that seat for the very first time, my hands trembled, and I felt as if I had been foolish in wanting to contribute my time to the community through piano playing. But once I let the music flow from my hands and looked up to see smiles of appreciation directed at me from all ends of the room, I realized I had made the right decision. The warmth contained in the patients' faces leads me back to that piano seat each and every week. To this day, I take joy in knowing the benefits my piano playing has not only on me, but also the people of my community.
"Despite the fact that I eventually grew a liking towards playing the piano on my leisure time,"
This phrase is a bit awkward.
Overall, I like the essay, but you need to focus more on yourself and how the piano relates to what makes you unique. You wait till the last paragraph and that isnt completeley adequate
