Applied Math and the liberal arts - Common App Why transfer essay

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

Thanks so much for any corrections or comments!

Staring at my blank reflection in the window opposite me on a nearly deserted L train, hearing only the rhythmic pattern of wheels on rails, I think about how drastically my aspirations have changed in the past year. I used to have a desire, albeit a misguided one, of studying engineering. The intricacies of math had always fascinated me and I could think of nothing better than studying it in a practical way where I could apply it to the issues that affect our world. Engineering, however, is not what I made it out to be. As much as it overlaps with math, engineering would never give me the same pleasure just studying math, my true passion, would. Realizing this and the fact that I could learn to use math in an applied way without studying engineering landed me at the last place I thought I would be last year - a liberal arts college with no engineering department! Although I am little surprised at where I ended up, I am glad I made the choice I did.

My time at _______ has been indisputably superb. Fantastic classes, clubs and professors have allowed me to succeed in a way I denied myself before. Although I worked hard in high school, especially in my last two years, I was limited by the fact that I was working for the wrong reasons. I am now aware that reaching my full potential in college was done not only by taking classes in subjects I enjoyed and knew I would do well in, but also those I used to struggle in, yet had a genuine interest in learning about. Coming in with an open mind has let my freshman year become a time of transition and positive transformation. Moreover, attending a liberal arts college has expanded my worldview and shown me that a study of applied math can be made even more useful when combined with the traditional cornerstones of a liberal arts education. An appreciation of literature, philosophy, science and the arts would give me the tools to more extensively recognize the impact I make on the world.

Unfortunately, while ______ provides an excellent opportunity to study math in a theoretical way, it does not provide as effectively for someone looking to go into an applied field such as myself. I flourish in the realm of elegant mathematical equations, but I want to take them beyond the Euclidean plane and into the spheres of everyday life. While I am primarily interested in applying math to economics, I also want to have the opportunity to pursue my interests in the natural world and discover math's functions in fields like biology and the geosciences. My desire is to study math as an interdisciplinary field and note its effects across the academic spectrum, something I am unable to do at ______. My perfect fit, however, would not only entail studying applied math, but also exploring the liberal arts with similarly motivated peers, delving into and discussing texts, fusing together creativity with practicality and expanding myself into a well-rounded person. This synthesis of the complementing perspectives of applied math and the liberal arts would push me beyond the creative brink of my mind and actually allow me to speak to the world in my native tongue - math.

This is a really good sentence, but there is a price to pay. If you mention this scene, you have to use it as ametaphor or somehow keep referencing it, as a theme for the essay... you cannot just say it for no apparent reason. It is good, and I hope you can keep it, but you have to "maintain" it as your theme. :-)

Ah... good! Right here in the intro, you are talking about math and engineering, so at the end of the first paragraph you should refer back to the train thing.. something about math and engineering, as though your experience on the train makes you think in terms of math and engineering.

My time at _______ has been indisputably superb. Don't use fancy dramatic words; instead, add some words so that this sentence will contain more meaning. The first sentence of the paragraph should be a PARAGRAPH TOPIC SENTENCE.

to go into an applied field, which is what I want to do. such as myself. Don't use myself unless you have used "I" in the same sentence.

This is very good, much more interesting to read than many AO essays. And you obviously are a very methodical thinker.