Prompt: Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.
I have been home-schooled since elementary school, and I believe that it has given me the opportunity to work harder at school. I have been able to focus in a less distracting area than public school provides. Falling asleep or texting in class wasn't an option; my teacher was always watching me to make sure I was listening. I learned the value of time-management and setting a schedule to get my homework done. On top of my schoolwork at home, I also joined a co-op. A co-op (short for "cooperation") is a group of homeschooling families who join together to learn from and with one another to enrich each child's education. My co-op has challenged me with rigorous classes and forced me to learn how to set my own schedule.
In junior year, I was intrigued and interested in physics, calculus, chemistry, and anything that involved solving problems. I wanted to find new ways to design buildings to be more energy-efficient. Energy consumption was something that bothered me, and I wanted to learn ways to make buildings more energy friendly. I knew that in order to accomplish my goal, I would have to work hard in school. Throughout high school, all of my class GPAs have been 3.5 or greater. I have taken multiple dual-credit classes that have pushed me to excel. I joined the National Homeschool Honor Society, and later on joined the National Math Honor Society for Homeschoolers. In junior year I was elected as the vice president of the National Homeschool Honor Society, and for my senior year I have been elected as the president of the NHHS. Both of these societies have taught me the value of academic pursuits and the skills that leadership requires.
I had to learn how to balance my homework and my extra-curricular activities when I joined the drama club and sign language club. This has taught me the value of time-management. In the most recent play my drama class performed, I earned the lead role. This honorable role was also accompanied by many extra hours of practice and memorization that have taught me how to work hard in multiple areas of my life simultaneously.
During the summer between my junior and senior years in high school I was an intern at Image Engineering Group. I got to see engineering first-hand through this experience. I was exposed to many different kinds of CAD (computer aided drafting) and I learned about many different things that a mechanical engineer does. All of this further motivated me to study about physics and to learn about how and why things do what they do; and how to make them do what I want them to.
I have learned through high school that perseverance and dedication are extremely valuable traits to have. When I go to college, I will learn even more by persevering and dedicating myself to everything that I do; but I won't stop there. With a degree in mechanical engineering, I will have the capability to continue learning and improving. I will be able to solve problems and truly make our buildings more sustainable.
- Falling asleep or texting in class wasn't an option;, my teacher
- Energy consumption was something that botheredinterests me,
- ...why things do what they do; and how to make them do what I want them tofunction as they are suppose to .
- WithA degree in mechanical engineering,
@Aubrey, I can see that you're application is written well, however I'm not sure that if it's strong enough to grant you a scholarship.
I suggest you write a few more sentences with the following;
- cite more of your strength
- keep a focus on your goals
- what are the things or programs you would like to contribute to the institution
Draft it and post it here on EF so we can help you further.
I can help you with your essay. I think you are doing an excellent job with your writing! Discussing your interest in energy efficiency is superb! I recently saw some young teens discussing this with a leading manufacturer. This is a topic that is important and something that future engineers may aspire to achieve.
I would like to address some errors in your paper.
First, I'm confused when you state: all of my class GPAs. I'm unsure if this is because you were home schooled. Here is a suggestion: "Throughout high school, my grade point average was 3.5 or higher. I'm not sure if there are semesters or quarters when you are home schooled, but I think this is a better way to explain your GPA.
Also, separate these sentences. "In my junior year, I was elected as the vice president of the National Homeschool Honor Society". "During my senior year, I was elected president of the NHHS.
Change this sentence: "I also learned how to balance my homework when I joined the drama club and sign language club." At the end of the paragraph, I would discuss how this kind of discipline will help you in the field of engineering.
The next paragraph, place a comma after school. Here is a simple way to state this sentence: "I was able to experience firsthand the work of an engineer." You could also use "job duties" instead of work.
Delete some words at the beginning of this sentence and use the change in the ending from the last post for this sentence: "All of This further motivated me to study about physics and to learn about..." If you use suppose to at the end of the sentence from the last post, change it to "supposed to".
The end is abrupt. Did you want to make it "sustainable for future generations"?
