Hi all !
I'm going to apply for undergrate program of a Korean university and the deadline is Sep 30th. I have to write 5 essays for 5 questions. Below is 2 of them.
I know they are a bit long... I really appreciate all of your suggestions about any errors/improvements/changes/.... or anything that you think I should know ^^
Q1. What motivated you to apply to UniversityName? Why and what do you want to study at UniversityName? (400 words or less)
After many times visiting UniversityName through field trips and especially attending UniversityName 2010 conference in one week, I was totally dazzled by its incredible infrastuctures and development of international stature of science and technology. Being established with the missions of education and training of highly qualified scientists and engineers equipped with theoretical and practical expertise, UniversityName has been providing a dynamic, comprehensively developed educational and research environment which is ongoing improving and innovating incessantly. In addition, that the residential life in UniversityName receives the full support from UniversityName staffs makes it be comfortable and safe than ever so that students don't need to worry about anything but studying and enjoying student life with many extracurricular activities. I have no reason not to give myself this greatest chance to live in such a wonderful environment. Besides that, another reason that motivated me to apply to UniversityName is its first-in-Korea test-free admission system which recruits excellent students on their personalities, responsibilities, and creativities. It really interested me who was nurtured by MyCountry examination-oriented admission system : scores are the most important.
Normally, a good admission system comes from a good education system, so in UniversityName. It has been confirmed partly by rank xxth over top 200 world universities. After carefully comparing the strengths of many universities, I find UniversityName is particularly suited for my dream : becoming a scientist who greatly contribute to the betterment of society. As a world-famous institute, UniversityName has top-class faculties, advanced research facilities and a stimulating academic atmosphere, all very conducive to the development of my academic career. Imagining myself studying among plenty of geniuses who share the same interests with me, even if I want to be lazy, I have to move my mind ahead and aim to my goals. I am particularly interested in Computer Science, especially in Data Structure and Algorithms, and its wide applications in everyday life, so I will focus my study and research on the theories and practices of Computer Science field. But I know, learning only raw knowledge doesn't make up a future scientist. I need to learn more and more about leadership skills, teamwork skills, interpersonal skills, international and professional working method, etc... And, this is Korea, I can't miss learning about Korean hard-working style and Korean traditional cultures which has been last long century by century. Anyway, that is the long way in next four years. Right now, I am sure that your sophisticated education and my own efforts will help me grow into a scientist who make scientific contributions that both UniversityName and I can be proud of.
Q3. What areas of talent or specific interest do you have academically? (200 words or less)
I think I was in kindergarten when "Microsoft" and personal computers first appeared in MyCountry. Fortunately, I soon had chances to encounter a computer in the flesh when I was 9 years old. This must be the time where my desire for computer were fired up. Thanks to my father for his decision on buying a computer rather than his favorite motorbike. I considered the computer as a very mysterious machine and became more and more interested in it.
I kept my fire shine by studying in books and online resources by myself about related computers, eg: how to install softwares, how to install operating systems , how to use Microsoft Office, etc... especially Reverse Engineering which fast became my hobby until now.
My turning point took place when I entered high school. In the course Information Technology, I was taught about programming and Pascal had been my first programming language. I quickly mastered it and was offered to join the special class arranged for students who are considered talented in Information Technology. In that class, I learnt a lot about algorithms such as sorting, searching, brute force, etc... The more I deeply got into algorithms, the more I loved it.
With the pool of knowledge from high school, I confidently entered the first university which had specialized in Information Technology in MyCountry. During the time I studied in my university, I strove academically and acquired systematic and comprehensive training in all subjects concerning computer science, especially subject Data Structure and Algorithms which I scored 90%, ranking first among my class of 88. While enjoying all my courses, I also cherished every opportunity in each course project. Combining theory with practice deepened my understanding of textbook knowledge and enriched my hands-on experience.
Being established with the missions of education and training of highly qualified scientists and engineers equipped with theoretical and practical expertise, UniversityName has been providing a dynamic, comprehensively developed educational and research environment which is ongoing improving and innovating incessantly.
Some of this sounes like a brochure. It is too general and too focused on the school. I think you should focus more on your intentions and talk about the school's merits in terms of how they can empower you in carrying out your detailed plan.
It has been confirmed partly by rank xxth over top 200 world universities. ---- all this continues to sound like a brochure or like their website...
Imagining myself studying among plenty of geniuses who share the same interests with me, even if I want to be lazy, I have to move my mind ahead and aim to my goals. --- I understand what you are saying, I think, but discuss the specific goals instead of being general like this.
I kept my fire shining by studying books and online resources by myself -- publications covering subjects such as how to install software, how to...
:-)
