I am applying as a transfer student to A&M. SOP essay

I am applying as a transfer student to A&M.
I am having a bit of trouble trying to figure out how to write this essay

Here is what i have so far:

Texas a&m statement of purpose essay.

As I receive my diploma on graduation day, I'd like to think about my future in a new setting. I realize what a treasure a quality education really is. My freshman year of college not only taught me many new things, but honed the skills I had developed, and built the person that I am today. Transferring to A&M would be a life changing experience. I am interested in pursuing a career in International Studies because I was raised multiculturally. I moved from Mexico City to Texas at the beginning of my Freshman year of high school. I have learned about many different people and cultures. Although it was difficult I have truly mastered the ability to communicate in both the English and Spanish language. I believe that being bilingual gives me a huge advantage in the work place and will open many doors for me in the future by allowing me to communicate with more people. This is why I will focus on a third language throughout my college career. Sometimes the real world is all about who you know and reaching as many people as you possibly can.

For instance, during the summer of 2017 I was given the opportunity to practice and teach lacrosse with the A&M head coach, Tony Scazzero. I met with him twice a week for two months for an incredible experience with him and the college station community. We introduced beginners to the game and taught them several aspects of how the game is played. Lacrosse is one of my biggest passions and I hope to play for A&M in the future. If I had not moved to Texas and learned English I would not have had the opportunity to work with such an amazing coach; this is why I am motivated to learn yet another language.

I have always been a motivated, confident and driven person. However, in my first year of college my parents got a divorce. I had to deal with their constant fights and severe real life problems. I experienced sadness on a higher level and gained a couple pounds. I realized this was not the life I wanted for myself and that the only one that could change for the better was me. So I forced myself to improve. I lost all the weight I gained by going to the gym, I started getting better at Hockey by playing at the adult leagues, and got back to practicing Lacrosse with the A&M head coach. I continued to play the guitar and eventually got a job lifeguarding so I could pay for the cameras and equipment until I created a Youtube channel. I did not go out on vacation this summer instead I attended summer school and finished my two classes with an A, and on one final I made a 100%. I know I still have room for improvement; My GPA is at a 3.2, but it has been steadily increasing. I work for what I want and do not give up until I succeed. I have made mistakes along the way, but I use them to fuel my ambitions. This makes me grow stronger as a person mentally and physically.

Currently, I have been going to school, working, and practicing lacrosse and hockey. I will be attending Blinn College for the fall semester, and I hope to attend a&m for the spring semester. A&M opens the doors to a higher, more diverse culture as well as a set of new ambitions. I want the chance to rebrand myself, form a new character, or construct my current identity if I so choose to. I would be honored to be accepted into the school and be a part of the class of 2020 and I am eager to apply my energy and passions to A&M university.

Michael, this is a very interesting personal statement. How I wish that you could use it as statement of purpose, but you can't. You need to write a new essay that better represents the required information related to a statement of purpose essay. For example, as a transfer student, you need to explain why you wish to eventually transfer to A&M. What is the purpose of your desire to transfer? Explain what your course of interest is, why you feel that completing it A&M would be the best way for your complete your studies, and what background you have, academically, that makes you a good candidate as a transfer student. A statement of purpose needs to indicate your capacity to survive as a student at A&M. It sounds to me like you are applying to A&M more because of the Lacrosse team than because of its academic opportunities. The focus of the statement of purpose must be academic as it signifies an academic desire that you wish to pursue. Discuss your previous academic qualifications and how it has helped prepare you for the transfer. What I don't understand at this point is why you are applying to A&M when you admit that you will be starting studies at a different university this upcoming semester. Is this an early application? If it is, I think it is too early to be writing this essay.