Wow, nice job, this sounds really cool. So, I don't know if the essay is to be specific about the work of art, but I am assuming that it is the beautiful scene in the sky when all of the lanterns are lit up. The paper you have written is a work of art too! You paint a wonderful picture with your words. Here are a couple things you may want to change. Just some minor suggestions:
We gathered on the square when the clock struck ten,our souls filled with enthusiasm and the expectancy of a miracle.
in our souls.
The lanterns in our hands started to
reviverise up, and suddenly they turned into stars, which blossomed on the sky canvas.
I was still staring at the dark abyss and looking for my lantern, which was the color of grass.
That evening showed me the significance of
thehow a brief moment of joy which we can be created with simple things.
Those sparkling lights made me realize how important feelings are nowadays and that we don't have to dream about magic because together we are capable of creating it together.
Re-word this sentence. It is a little long and sounds like rambling. Nice description.