Aptly described by a friend as "tenacious", my determination and dogged devotion to any task

Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extra curricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? We know nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of the type of person you are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us, or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude.

A common image guaranteed to bring a smile to a viewer's face is the classic depiction of a dog with a bone larger than its entire body clutched between its teeth or paws. Often, the dog looks proud of the gargantuan prize; sometimes, it will look wary, as if it too is unsure of how it will possibly dig into the bone that seemed easy to conquer until the moment it was obtained.

My individuality is most apparent in my resemblance to a dog with a bone it can seemingly never overcome. Aptly described by a friend as "tenacious", my determination and, if you will pardon the pun, dogged devotion to any task is routinely one of the first traits offered by friends and family when asked to describe me. Determination is what regularly leads me to conquering the improbable- such as carrying chairs much larger than myself up a steep flight of stairs, with 'barked' objections sent to anyone who may try and insist I need help. Determination has also on occasion lead to my accomplishing the 'impossible', such as licking my elbow (yes, I can do that and am always eager to demonstrate).

By no means has this quality always been a charming or exclusively beneficial one. Much like the pup who's bitten off more than they can chew, I have oftentimes found myself lost in a schedule or situation that seems impossible to dig myself out of. The only expression I have seen on my mother's face more often than pride is poorly concealed horror when I've announced my latest project that promises an increased resemblance to the tenacious pup- from the frizzed hair to the black markings around the eyes. However, the same mannerism that causes me to dig myself into these alarmingly deep holes is the same one that helps me dig my way out. Determination is what keeps me watching the word count tick upwards on an essay I'd rather not be writing, especially after finishing over an hour ago and accidentally deleting the work. Determination is what shaped me into the accomplished and ambitious person I pride myself on being today.

The 'likes' and 'shares' on the photo of the overwhelmed pup display the adoring fascination of onlookers watching David facing the Goliath, but there is another side to the story. The wagging tail and rounded belly announcing the victory may not make a viral photo, but they characterize the beloved challenger more than the previously insurmountable obstacle ever could. This victory, often only seen by those closest to the pooch, means more than the fame of apparent defeat ever could. My similar determination is what makes me unique because it is to thank for the unique experiences and accomplishments that define me. It is what I hope will one day lead to my dreams of helping the children of the future use their own determination and unique talents to change the world.

"tenacious", ---> the comma goes inside the quotes, like "tenacious,"

my determination and, if you will pardon the pun, dogged devotion ---> I liked the pun, but the "if you will pardon the pun" seemed like unneeded throat-clearing. Putting it in italics would make more impact.

Very well-written essay! Just fix up those minor mistakes and you'll be good to go.

Lyndsay, I have to say that you have written a very humorous essay here. Your depiction of yourself as a cute, cuddly dog will come across almost visually to any dog lover and will definitely help your essay be considered on a serious, yet enjoyable note. A word of advice though. Skip the long opening description about the dog. Just open immediately with your statement comparing yourself to the dog instead. After all, the focus of the essay should be on you and the comparison. Using the current opening statement focuses the essay on the dog instead. That we do not want the reader to do.

The focus on the dog is also the same problem that your closing statement has. Try to reword that portion in order to better focus on your actions, as you would see on a dog. Don't explain the dog actions and then leave your personal connection for the last sentences of the essay. Focus on your actions instead, the mention of the dog similarity should be the one mentioned in the last 2 sentences of that paragraph, if it is necessary at all to do so.