So...I submitted this essay a couple of days back, BUT I would still like to hear some opinions. Both negative and positive are welcome! =]
Describe a local, national or international problem and how it's personal to you (not exact words of essay prompt).
"Arabs are the new blacks."
Many people have heard this comment over the past few years. As one reads this essay, he or she may think, What does this have to do with you? It is true that I am not an Arab. On my application it says that my parents are of Bengali descent, and I was born here, in the United States. So how does this statement pertain to me? My belief lies with the teachings of Islam. Yes, I'm a Muslim.
In truth, the statement that was mentioned above applies to not just Arabs, but all Muslims and even people who are thought to be Muslims, for that matter. In the recent years, many have looked down upon Muslims due to the actions of September 11, 2001 as well as the war in the Middle East. As the years have gone by, the discrimination against Muslims has escalated as the war dwindles on. At times, I wonder why such a few number of miscreants seem to be the display label for such a peaceful religion.
I remember an event that had occurred a few years ago, soon after 9/11, after it was declared that the attack on the World Trade Center was caused by Muslim extremists. My father came rushing home one afternoon, his face stricken with fear. My mother asked him what had happened, and I listened intently.
"I saw a taxi cab driver beaten senseless today," my father said. "He was pulled right out of his car into the streets. He kept screaming, 'I'm not Muslim! I'm not Muslim!' He was Sikh, for god's sake! And no one even helped him until after the men left." I later realized that the man was targeted because he wore a turban, a typical stereotype of Arabs. The men's intentions were to beat a Muslim. Why would another Muslim ï or in this case, a Sikh ï have to pay for the actions of a few individuals?
The answer is simple: ignorance. At times, it is bewildering at how obtuse and narrow-minded some people are. Islam is a religion of peace, yet ï in my opinion ï when most people hear of Islam, the first thought that comes to mind is Jihad, suicide bombing, or terrorism. If I were to ask someone what he or she thought Jihad was, they would ï of course ï reply, "a holy war." That is not entirely true. Jihad is an individual's striving for spiritual perfection. The question is, how many people view the term as such?
In reality, most Muslims hate extremists as much as any other person. Not only do they create havoc, but they also give Islam a bad name. It isn't pleasant when people view Muslims as radicals setting the US flag on fire.
The disregard of Islamic traditions is only one of the many things the public seems to overlook. Any culture or religion that isn't one's own seems to be criticized. Until this crudeness is overcome, problems will continue to arise. Although there is no real solution to this problem, one can only hope that through time, these indifferences will be quelled.
I'm going to be totally honest. This is an extremely interesting essay. However, you could do a better job organizing it.
My recommendations: Get to the point early. I was about to click "back" until I read your first sentence. Then, you fiddled around. You're a Muslim, and that's awesome. Include the parts about parents, about being born in USA . . . but don't talk about your "application" or "how the statement pertains to you" explicitly. You're goal is to answer that in the body of your essay.
I would not be so blunt as to say things like ***If I were to ask someone what he or she thought Jihad was, they would - of course - reply, "a holy war."***
--It might be better to use a short, powerful sentence to begin, then to attack your arguments.
You might want to connect this with something you have learned about life. How does overcoming prejudice influence your academics, social life, or family life? When have you learned a priceless lesson from being judged as a Muslim?
Fahim,
you have a truly interesting topic. A slight change in tone and better organization could make this essay not only interesting, but AWESOME.
