I am applying to University of Texas at Austin School of Architecture
I really appreciate and would LOVE suggestions and EDITS on my paper.
Thanks again for all of your help
PROMPT:
Personal interaction with objects, images and spaces can be so powerful as to change the way one thinks about particular issues or topics. For your intended area of study (architecture, art history, design, studio art, visual art studies/art education), describe an experience where instruction in that area or your personal interaction with an object, image or space effected this type of change in your thinking. What did you do to act upon your new thinking and what have you done to prepare yourself for further study in this area?
For years, buildings I entered, or interacted with had little or no impact on me. At most they would get a simple remark from me about how they looked. This would soon change faster than I could have imagined and opened up a world of design, art, and imagination known as architecture.
In my junior year of high school, while exploring career options, I contemplated on what attributes I like most in myself, and that I am most talented at. The main talents I concluded with were mathematics and art. Once I figured this out and researched careers involving these two things, I stumbled upon architecture. From the summaries I read it sounded intriguing, so I researched it and I began to grow quite fond of it. I talked to my family and ended up finding a friend who works at an architecture firm in Dallas called HKS. After my visit, I was exhilarated about all I had seen and was certain that architecture was what I wanted to do. I ended up researching and finding the University of Texas Summer Academy of Architecture and decided it would be a perfect opportunity to decide once and for all if architecture was the career I wanted to pursue. It was a couple weeks into the academy, when we visited a building that would affect me more than any other building ever had.
While at the Kimbell Art Museum on a trip from the academy to Dallas, I had a revelation that solidified in my mind that I truly loved architecture. I had previously visited the Kimbell since I lived in DFW which made this experience so remarkable. As I reentered the museum, I was blown away by the beautiful light being diffused by the half arches of concrete on the ceiling and how light was distributed throughout the museum. In my architectural naivety, I had never noticed that the museum itself was a piece of art. It was nearly halfway through the tour that I realized I had not once looked at a piece of art on display but was mesmerized with the architectural genius of Louis Kahn. I was able to compare my previous visit to this one and realize how my mind had been molded into a mind that could notice and appreciate the fine details of a building. I was able to see that a building can nearly control people and how they feel emotionally and physically. The Kimbell made me feel warm and relaxed as its light poured smoothly over the paintings and illuminated the court yard. It was a transformation clearly visible to me in which I realized how my mind had so much changed. Over a few weeks, the way I viewed building would be changed for the rest of my life, and for the better.
After this epiphany, I began to understand much more about what my instructors had been talking about with light and negative space and all these terms I had once found so nonsensical. I began to excel in my group at the academy and came up with many different designs that, for once, made me proud. My instructor introduced me too the idea of studying precedents and I really caught on. I loved to just look at buildings and study how and why they were designed. It was like reading picture books for big kids. Since, I have researches many architects and talked to other architects that I met through friends and family. Architecture is one of the most influential types of art, especially in every day life, and to have the opportunity to create and design art that can reflect on other people and how they go about their life is something I indubitably want to pursue as a career.
I have always wanted to make a difference in the world but have always struggled to find out how I could do it. I think that architecture is my answer. I see architecture as an opportunity to leave a positive imprint on the world and to help people better live their lives. I think that through all of my development and learning over the past year that I have prepared myself to further my learning and to achieve my goals.
I searched the essay to find the places where you attended to each aspect of the prompt, and you nailed them all. You have some great sentences, too -- great descriptions! You really prove that you appreciate architecture, and that is important, because the most impressive thing a student can do is be passionate about something.
I found one sentence that needs improvement:
I began to excel in my group at the academy and came up with many different designs that, for once, made me proud. ----> it sounds like, "For once, excelling and coming up with designs made me proud." What are you really trying to say withh "for once?" Just develop that point, if it is important.
"Since, I have researches many architects and talked to other architects that I met through friends and family."
researches - researched
i like your essay. your essay flowed very well :D
im applying to UT Austin too but my essay is definetly not as good as yours. Will you help me with mine?
well, if you could read my general architecture essay, it would help loads
you can read it here:
