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UC Essay: Architecture, immigration and God.

polk540 5 / 16  
Nov 20, 2011   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My dream is a construction site where different worlds conjoin to consist of my aspiration as if different parts of architecture. I am eager to design houses and churches for people who need shelters.

I am a representative of different mosaics : a n immigrant whose ancestor survived through the war, a Christian who embraces others, an environment lover who designs architecture and its urroundings, and a Korean community of Alabama, which supports me to pursue my dream. Admixture of my worlds intertwines me learning deeper and acting for humanitarian causes.

My story of immigration and faith, which guide me to study architecture, begins with my family. My grandparents survived during the war that deteriorated Korea. They raised my parents with putting education and work ethic into the integrity of life. With bare hands, they constructed backbones of economic growth, and my parents continued to build a better society, creating a miracle that transformed the poorest country into the industrialized country. Since California is the Melting Pot where embraces diverse people like me , I would continue developing my academic and social life at the University of California.

As if a base of building, my faith shapes me into a person who devotes his efforts to the poor. Religious activities, including m ission trip to Yucatán, leadership of the youth group, and bible study , have shaped my morality and abilities. My faith interacts with my other aspirations; I learn how to show love to others: it has shaped my dreams of being an architect, since I can help others by designing their shelters and churches.

I have enjoyed living in a nature of Sweet Home Alabama, where beautiful environment and colonial buildings calm my eyes and mind that had been suffocated by hectic, urban setting s. I have dreamed digging in designing a building that harmonizes with its surrounding. Grown up in such environment, I have developed a sense of harmony and earthiness in accordance with architecture. My enthusiasm of studying environmental designs allows me to dream being an architect. Hours from desert and mountains, minutes from Pacific Ocean and cities, California offers me to learn various spaces where harmonizing architecture can improve the mankind and environment altogether.

Down in the deep southern state of Alabama, I am part of a growing Korean community that is creating a vibe to regional economic and cultural diversity to the society. With its miraculous economic and population growth, the Korean community of Alabama tries to improve local economy and education through humanitarian works and financial donations. Even if Korean community is different from the American community in ethnicity and mother tongue, we altogether cooperate and believe in a God who guides us in the construction of automobile factories which boosts the economy. From my community, I learn that education is not just for career but is for giving back to community. My community's emphasis on well-roundedness has shaped me into becoming involved in various extracurricular activities and intellectual learning. I have had opportunities such as saxophone lessons, Jazz music, Bible study, geography, architecture, interior design, tennis, and graphic design. My community always helps me dig into diverse fields, as my local atmosphere has led me to participate in humanitarian works. As an immigrant, I embrace others; I am proud to call myself architect who works for mankind, God, and community.

****A new chapter unfolds, the rest is still unwritten. Education is not just to get a job but is to give back.

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

My passion for architecture and global studies are related to each other by one experience. All my life, I designed buildings for aesthetics until I saw a desperate need to upgrade the function and the technology of buildings in Yucatan, Mexico. While on a mission trip to help Mayan natives, I decided to use my passion for architecture and global studies to help those people in need. In the past, I have designed a church and its architectural elements, club T-shirts, and my house for beauty; however, after I witnessed that such beauty is a luxury in Izamal, Mexico, I decided to improve their lives with my talent. The mission trip helped me to arouse my enthusiasm to sketch a church, bridge, and houses for the Mayan people; the trip allowed me to become passionate for architecture and global studies.

My zeal to convert an underdeveloped country's vicious circle into a virtuous one has transformed me into a person who is eager to assist others. While pondering how the world can improve its problems, I developed an analogy: located in a different axis or sphere, the rich and the poor cannot communicate; located in the same Möbius strip, they cannot have any access to others. Hence, I devised a sketch (plan) to build a bridge between the rich and the poor by designing the bridge and helping people to organize it. In the summer of 2011, I learned to love and care about the Mayan people. This mission trip experience made me compassionate to people in need and passionate to learn global studies.

My future effort would be focused on Uganda, where my former AP American History teacher works as a missionary. She shared with me a vision that provoked my love for people and knowledge to provide the Ugandans a better life. I will show my compassion with excitement. I would be thrilled to learn architecture, geography, and global studies at the University of California system, so that I can use my education to help others.

Thank you for reading! Your support means a LOT!!!!
My concerns so far are "religious bad for UC application?" and "more detail and story maybe? or more general?"
girlzshu 1 / 5  
Nov 21, 2011   #2
they're too similar. if you talk about one subject in one essay, the other should be much different because the same admissions officer will read both your essays and will already know things about your aspirations through one essay. They don't want to read the same thing again.
OP polk540 5 / 16  
Nov 21, 2011   #3
What do you think which one is better?

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