Area of my choice-- Medicine

What led you to choose the area(s) of academic interest that you have listed in your application to the University of Michigan? If you are undecided, what areas are you most interested in, and why?

If you never stop learning, life will always be interesting and filled with new opportunities. My quest to continually stretch myself has led me to choose Pre-Medicine as my academic area. Growing up in a family filled with esteemed professionals, ambition of becoming a Doctor was expected of me. My interest in being a Physician began as a young child, and it has only blossomed since. While my interest in Pre-Medicine provided a foundation of my future, it was the surrounding that I lived in helped my passion for being a Physician really blossomed. Academically, my interests have always lied in the sciences, especially in courses like biology and chemistry. It is for this reason that I have always taken the most challenging courses available to me, and my grades have only been a fortunate byproduct of this drive for knowledge. Since childhood, I had interest in Biology because it is like Christmas trees that blossom in every season of the year; there is always room to learn something new in medical field. It has always struck me as odd that most Doctors help people who can pay the hospital bill than to the poor. Poor people are exploited all over the world. I have chosen to be a Physician so that I can try and provide the benefits of basic medical science in every corner of the world. Therefore, I will attend a university with a strong biological research department to further my knowledge of biology and be helpful to the mankind.

Some things to consider:


Ambition grew up in a family filled with esteemed professionals? Your modifier is dangling, I'm afraid. Rephrase.


Fie on those dishonest interests. Or perhaps they have always "lain".


This metaphor doesn't quite work. It just isn't clear how your interest in biology could be profitably compared to a Christmas tree -- it's fake and made of plastic? It's real but tends to shed needles on the ground? It is only of any real importance for two weeks of the year?

I agree with Sean, especially about the metaphor. Also, imho, the sentence:


seems like it was forced and not your choice. I know it is your choice, and you explain it in the rest of the essay, but I just dont think that that sentence is necessary.


^That last sentence is good, but the part about being "helpful to mankind" does not fit with the rest of the sentence. It just seems like you just put it there to sound good.

But, I think it's good besides that.

Hi Viraj,

While my interest in Pre-Medicine provided a foundation of my future, it was the surrounding that I lived in helped my passion for being a Physician really blossomed. Try not to repeat the word blossomed. You just used it in the previous sentence.

Academically, my interests have always lied in the sciences, especially in courses like biology and chemistry. You may wish to include what about biology and chemistry that thrills you.

my grades have only been a fortunate byproduct of this drive for knowledge This is superfluous. Delete it.

Therefore, I will attend a university with a strong biological research department to further my knowledge of biology. So are you going to bring with you a strong biological research department to Michigan? It should be "I will attend a university which has a strong...

helpful to the mankind I'm also guilty of putting this down in my essay.

Last but not least, I'm not sure if it's correct to cap words like Doctor, Physician. Usually I don't.