Since I was a little girl, I imagined my college years to be some of the best years of my life. I always planned on going to a huge college. I grew up thirty minutes from the University of Kansas campus and I would always go to the football and basketball games. I loved the feeling of being around so many people who were all there for the same reason; it was like a big family. I decided very late in my senior year that I wanted to go to a school farther east. Most of the schools had already stopped accepting applications, so I decided to attend the University of Massachusetts Lowell. The school was the complete opposite of what I expected. Many of the students are from the same town and there is no diversity. There is also a lack of unity. I knew that I wanted to go to a school with more diversity and people from all around the world. I think that college is a time to experience and understand people for their differences. Exploring big cities and different cultures is something that I have always taken a keen interest in. For that reason I have considered majoring in either broadcast journalism or studying to become a teacher. I am not set on either of those majors, but I know that those are definitely what I am most interested in right now and at the University of Massachusetts I would not be able to study to become a broadcaster since they do not offer that as a major. I feel that I have a better chance to excel in my studies at a school that has more of what I want. I hope that this transfer will bring me new challenges and obstacles. The college that I attend should be a place that I am comfortable, happy and excited to learn. I do not wish to cruise through college unhappy and not learning all that I can. I want to go to a school that has a great reputation for my area of study and that will push me to learn and be all that I can.
" the same reason" What same reason? Be clear, because it sounds a bit incomplete and confusing.
"I decided very late", I don't think you should say this directly. I would perceive this as a negative attribute.
"the school was the complete opposite of what I expected. Many of the students are from the same town and there is no diversity. There is also a lack of unity."
(This may be a taddddd biiitttt blunt. Do not criticize another university, try to keep that respect but at the same time, tell the others what they didn't have, and what you wished for.)
The school was the complete opposite of what I expected, (It's a a good start.)
I am not set on either of those majors, ( I suggest you not mention this, you can mention your interests in specific majors but you do not have to reveal your doubts in what you wish to fulfill)
"The college that I attend should be a place that I am comfortable, happy and excited to learn. I do not wish to cruise through college unhappy and not learning all that I can. I want to go to a school that has a great reputation for my area of study and that will push me to learn and be all that I can."
EXPAND EXPAND EXPAND! Okay, what do you mean by happy, what attributes in an University makes you happy? What atmosphere or environment is comfortable for you? Remember, you have to show what you are interested in without putting yourself down, and you also want to present to the college you wish to transfer to, your eagerness in attending it.
What might make you happy, is def. not the same for the person next to you.
& I also think you should expand on your objectives, and your passion for it. You quickly explained that you wish to attend a school that has a good reputation. So you only want to go to a school that is well-known? Make yourself clear.
Well, hope I helped.
GOOD LUCK!
