I had come to the middle of Locust Walk. Taking great care not to step over the tiled compass (yes, I am very superstitious), I made my way over to the benches and plopped myself down on one of the seats. Wow. What a first week it had been here at Upenn. Overwhelmed, I pulled out the brochures and contemplated my choices. I confess that I have a notoriously capricious nature. While my one true love has always been economics, and I have stayed faithful to it over the years, I cannot say the same for the others. I have been guilty of enjoying numerous affairs with the likes of physics and chemistry. And who is to say that I won't have many more in college? Upenn's interdisciplinary programs and academic flexibility would certainly see to it that I did. In fact, the College of Arts and Sciences practically insists that its students follow their passions by allowing us to enroll at any of the four undergraduate schools and create our own individualized majors. I could even apply for a coordinated dual-degree at the end of my freshmen year (and seeing as I am such a nerd, I probably will). With that happy thought in mind, I merrily ticked out many of the boxes on the form, enrolling for classes at the CAS, Wharton and the SEAS, and imagining what an awful boyfriend I would make.
A large poster caught my eye as I resumed my saunter down the Walk. Emblazoned on it were the words "Undergraduate Research Fair". A wide grin spreading across my face, I fumbled out a pen from my bag. Yes, I love to research. Whether it was calculating the opportunity cost to families who chose not to send their kids to school, or analyzing the financial implications of the latest soccer transfers, I have always found research to grant more insight than textbooks ever could. Well, I guess I have made a smart choice in coming to Upenn then. It is undoubtedly at the zenith of research universities in the nation. Why, just the other day, the CAS' Penn Institute of Economic Research had accepted my application and guaranteed me full support with my work. With research grants and expert mentorship so readily available here at Upenn, I have no doubt that I will get all the assistance to embark upon my research of the socio-economic implications of community service, a project that I have been designing since junior year. Having put my name up for the research fair, I carried on down the Walk, fantasizing of the day when Professor Villavedre would high-five me as he awarded me with the Kuznets Fellowship and a publication of my research in the UES journal.
"Kids, this is the Button." I snapped out of my reverie to see a fellow Quaker surrounded by a group of local secondary schoolers. As I watched him shuffle the kids around, evidently supervising a field trip, I couldn't help but marvel at the very impressive job that Upenn had done in integrating itself into the Philadelphia community. Having spent the past two years trying to increase my school's community service club's involvement with the underprivileged, I have no doubt that Upenn is the place to be if I want to further my understanding of effective community service and public policy. I picked up the brochure again and filled in my application to the Penn Civic Scholars program; these are perfect for integrating my passions of research and community service, and giving me the opportunity to apply the theories learned in the classroom to solve real-life community problems. I can even enroll in the CAS' ABCS courses and earn course credit while gaining on-field experience. I walked over to help the student-guide, hoping that my rudimentary experience of community work and expertise at Jim Carrey impressions would enable me to reciprocate, and benefit Upenn in return.
Nearing my dorm in the quad, I came across a large placard. It had students' scribbles all over it and bore the words "Why Upenn?" The question had been posed to me so many times over the past two years that it seemed like an old acquaintance now. My answer to it, however, has always been the same. I have come to Upenn because I wanted to. I wanted to have classes at college that take me back to the Model UN conferences from school, with the students really from all over the globe this time. I wanted to be just a bus ride away from Van Gogh's paintings and (add something here). And last but not the least, I wanted to be around students who really know how to get down and party. So where else could I have gone other than Upenn?
Okay guys this my Upenn supplement. Do you think the fact that i already envision myself there is weird??
Please help me critique it....Thanks a lot and i would be happy to look over your essays as well.
I think the way you envision yourself in there is creative and refreshing.
You might want to add some more UPenn's programs details at the end. Such as: I wanted the class, I wanted the painting, and I wanted this "program".
Good luck!
Wow, witty. I'm very impressed. I can see all the research you did on this school. To make things a little interesting, your (add something here) can be "philly cheesesteak"? It's a personal favorite of mine, but maybe it would tickle your fancy too haha. Just putting it out there, but maybe it's a tiny bit risky to write up this scene as if you're already in U Penn? If hope this becomes true for you though!
By the way, that's a nice username haha.
Hey, great essay!
It's a really unique approach. I don't think the admin officers will find it arrogant or presumptuous that you can image yourself there.
I like how natural your voice sounds. Your humour comes across well.
-as the zenith of research universities in the nation.
-calculating the opportunity cost for families who chose not to send their kids to school
-and is UPenn spelled with a capital 'U' and 'P'? just being picky :P
-I have always found research to grant more insightful than textbooks ever could . i think it'll be easier to understand this way
Definitely a great essay- its not presumptuous, and the humor flows well. I don't know much about UPenn, so some of the details were a bit hard to follow, but I'm sure the AO will find it pretty flattering, actually. One suggestion is to vary up your sentences a bit, they sound too identical in structure and tone sometimes- I know this isn't for everyone, but take your reader through an emotional journey! make them feel the experience with you, and you don't have to be so specific everywhere- instead of naming specific programs, use imagery to convey specific scenes, that always captivates the reader. Of course this is just my suggestion- really, it stands fine on its own even now. Great job, and good luck!
