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'As soon as I arrived in France' - Life is a challenge personal statement essay

leboss1234567 1 / 1  
Feb 5, 2012   #1
Envision yourself near the end of a fulfilling, lifelong career and you just published your autobiography. Share the title and introduction.

Life is a challenge

He did not go to university, he did not go to high school, he did not go to middle school and he did not go

to primary school. However, he was able to achieve his goals. After my grandmother died when he was
12, he was obliged to work until late hours with his uncle. Everyday he was beaten and abused. He ran
away at the age of 16 to another city with just 1 dollar in his pocket. He worked for years, and soon one
day he discovered he had created 3 successful textile industries.
After my father told be how he became successful, I was convinced that nothing is impossible. 31st June
2010, my junior year ended and I was going to finally be a senior. When I arrived home, my father told me
that he wanted me to attend a high school in Paris. Every member of my family, including me, disagreed
with him. He took me aside and told me "Education has no price, and I want you to have the education
that I never had". I knew that I would have to leave my parents and family and that I would have more
responsibilities. But I also knew that I would get a better education, learn to be responsible and undertake
new challenges. Thus, I decided to go to Paris.
As soon as I arrived in France, I was a timid and frightened 16 year old who came to discover a new
world. All I knew was that I had to work diligently and confront any challenges. That is why I decided to
became a full International Baccalaureate candidate. Within the IB diploma, I chose to take Higher level
math and higher level physics. I thought that since I'm taking a 13th year, I should take advantage of it. I
struggled greatly in these classes, but I really enjoyed the challenge. Because I was taking the full
diploma for the IB, I could not play with my the school's soccer team and I did not have time to make
friends. I had to balance the school work with my responsibilities at the new home I started sharing with
my older brother. I struggled each day, and I picked up the phone each day during that first semester to
call my father to tell him that I was giving up. But there was a part of me who wanted to stay and work
harder and harder. Sometimes, during class, tears would suddenly start to swell in my eyes. I missed my
family, and I missed my mom's thick, gentle voice calling my name. At one point, I wanted to go back to
Morocco, but then I thought of my father and what he had endured. If he had given up when his first
textile industry was failing, he would not be as successful and as respected as he is today.
My father inspired me to believe that with perseverance, commitment and confidence, I can achieve
anything. I thought that I had pushed myself beyond my limits, but my father has taught me that there are
no limits. He has inspired me to undertake new challenges, and these challenges have helped me
discover who I am and what I am capable of achieving. this is nothing compared to what my father did for me.With his help and support i was able to learn many important qualities that helped me throughout my career.

Critics plzzzz!!!
OP leboss1234567 1 / 1  
Feb 5, 2012   #2
any kind of critics would be appreciated
leviator 7 / 39  
Feb 5, 2012   #3
The first paragraph, which revolves around your father as your source of inspiration, woudl be a good start in certain topics, but I doubt it fits the bill here. You are asked to write YOUR autobiography, it should revolve around YOUR life. Start off with something about yourself.

In fact, the whole essay gives the impression that you're writing about your source of inspiration. You are being asked to talk about your life, and how you think it would be decades from now, and what you have accomplished in the years. Basically, I suggest you plan out a little bit of how you want your life to be, and talk about it from your older POV.

Good luck.

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