HI there,
I'm applying to The University of Washington for the fall 2010 semester. I am pursuing an art major.
I know I'm cutting it close, and any help would be appreciated. Here's the prompt:
Do you have a compelling academic or personal need to attend the University of Washington-Seattle at this time? Is there anything else you would like us to know?
II. Personal Statement Format
Content as well as form, spelling, grammar, and punctuation, will be considered. Suggested length is 2 to 4 pages double-spaced.
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I had a couple of people read this and I made some edits that help with the flow. I'd appreciate any other suggestions, thank you.
edited version:
Like many students who begin their post-high school education in community college I spent years unable to decide which career path was right for me. This did not deter me from pursuing my associate's degree, although it was a rocky journey that spanned ten years. Passionate about art for as long as I can remember, I always longed for a vocation in the art world. However, my fear of the stigma of 'starving artist' as well as my introverted nature prevented me from studying fine art and entering such a competitive field. In recent years my aversion to interacting with others has subsided significantly, but for a long time my passion for art was over shadowed by my shyness and fears of economic destitution.
I entered junior college in 1999 intending to be a graphic design major, but the reality of the profession discouraged me. Although I enjoyed all of my classes in design and drawing and learned many valuable fundamentals, the graphic design class itself frightened me with talk of freelance work and selling one's self. Abandoning the major, I continued to take my required classes. I did really well in some of them, mostly the humanities, and was challenged in other classes. When one does not have a clear goal it's easy to get side-tracked by life, taking a semester off now and then, or attending classes only part time to save up some money. For example, my last semester in California was cut short by a brief episode of homelessness. Fortunately I had a few good friends who helped me get through that. My college career was unsteady most of the time in California, but I never considered dropping out completely. Things began to take shape after I moved to Seattle in 2005.
Seattle presented me with a rich art culture, the product of people young and old, past and present, local and transplanted, and I knew I wanted to get involved. It took me a while to get started because I was still timid when it came to interacting with others. Also, I was working full time and taking classes at Seattle Central Community College to complete my Associate's Degree, not sure what major I would pursue when it came time to transfer. I received my degree in the summer of 2009, but before that I began to volunteer my time to the arts. I volunteered at the Henry Art Gallery for their Fall 2008 Open House and in October of 2009 I volunteered with PONCHO for their 8Th Annual Fine Art Auction. That experience alone exposed me not only to a great number of local artists, many of them University of Washington graduates, but also many art lovers who donated their time and energy as well. Shortly after that I began to volunteer at the Teacher's Resource Center for the Seattle Art Museum. Not only does the center help teachers educate students of all ages about art, I too learn so much every time I'm there. Still, while my artistic passions were bubbling up inside me, I had to decide on the future of my education.
I briefly considered attending an online college for web design, but after trying out some XTML and CSS scripts it was clear that this field was not for me. Besides, I wanted to be in the real world and meet people and an online school would further compound my introverted tendencies. While looking over the majors that the University of Washington offered, something clicked. When I saw the Painting and Drawing major I still held on to that fear of poverty, which I knew was an irrational worst-case-scenario; besides, I had already been homeless without committing to an art major. I began to read more about the Painting and Drawing major and as I did one thought kept running through my head. It was a phrase used by my closest friend when a decision needs to be made. 'Do what feels right.' It became clear to me that this not only felt right, it's what I have always wanted to do and I avoided it because of an irrational misconception.
In Seattle I really feel like art is part of everyday life. People knit sweaters for street signs. An artist named Henry has painted murals and even cars in Ballard and beyond, and a row of statue people wait for the bus in Fremont just like everyone else. The Seattle Art Museum is hard to miss with it's Hammering Man sculpture right in the middle of downtown. I have never experienced such a wealth of creativity in any other place. My hometown is a suburban sprawl of strip malls and I don't recall there ever being any kind of art events there. When I lived in Humboldt County there was more of an art culture but it seemed reserved for an older population as the young students and musicians struggled to be seen and heard. The area is hidden behind the metaphorical 'Redwood Curtain', giving it a feeling of isolation that ultimately prompted me to leave.
The idea that an education in fine art would condemn me to a future of struggling to get gallery shows and selling paintings for food no longer influences my judgement. Such an education could open up many career opportunities and it's up to me to find out what those opportunities are. Much of the motivation behind my volunteer work is meant to familiarize myself with the art world so I can get a closer view. Most of the people I meet through these organizations, both volunteers and employees, are not artists themselves. The passion these people show for art simply reinforces how important art is to this community. I feel that, as an artist, and with the skills I gained from a decade of working in customer service, I can really make a contribution to the community.
The community is also a reason I chose to apply to the University of Washington, as opposed to another school. Seattle has many art schools, another example of art's impact on the city's culture, but many other aspects of Seattle's community are represented on the University campus. I know a few people, both staff and students, that are involved in the History, Sociology, and Computer Science departments. Even my physician is a UW graduate. The University campus represents the same diversity that can be found in the city itself and I hope to meet and share ideas with many different kinds of people. I would like to deepen my personal roots here in Seattle and I feel that the University of Washington would be the ideal place to do so.
I am still introverted and enjoy my solitude; however I am no longer afraid of an unknown that prevents me from taking action. I am prepared to commit to earning my Bachelor's Degree at the University of Washington and make whatever sacrifices I need to. For instance, I will be working part-time for the first time in my life to focus on studies. I look forward to sharing ideas and asking questions in studio and classroom settings. I love art and continue to create it on a daily basis, and I hope meeting with other student-artists and professors will teach me more about the business, techniques and history of art. Seattle is my adopted home and it is the best place I can think of for my interests, curiosities, and passions to thrive. I'll do what it takes because art is extremely important to me and so is Seattle.
Not much room for improvement here! It's great...
I would use a comma to manage this sentence:
Shortly after that, I began to volunteer at the Teacher's Resource Center for the Seattle Art Museum.
also, I HATE sentences that begin with "not only" ... it seems cliched.
Not only does t The center help teachers educate students of all ages about art, and I also have meaningful learning experiences every time I'm there. --- that's my idea for you.
How about this... how about you move this sentence to the end of the first para:
I am still introverted and enjoy my solitude; however I am no longer afraid of an unknown that prevents me from taking action.
Add it to the end, after that sentence about how your introversion affected you...and then write a intro new sentence for the conclusion para.
