Hello!
I've just finished my essay for admission in the Art Institute of Charlotte and wanted professional feedback. This school really means a lot to me, so admission means a LOT to me.
PROMPT: "What are your career goals and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute of Charlotte to help you attain them? In what ways will you participate and commit to your education in order to be successful?"
ai of Charlotte admission essay
This is the essay I've written, please critique and tell me anything you think would improve it. The word was requirement was 250 words MINIMUM with no max limit.
My overall career goal is to establish and advance myself in a career in animation at a certified and prestigious company that takes pride in what they create. I want to be a part of the creation of a game that will bring happiness and fulfillment to hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of different people. Of course, these major goals require taking small steps at a time that slowly work towards the final product. Interestingly enough that is what animation is all about, working in small steps to achieve the final, exceptionally rewarding product. I feel that attending The Art Institute of Charlotte is my next small step that I need and desire to take so that I can achieve the reward waiting at the end.
The Art Institute of Charlotte is the perfect place to surround myself with other individuals who share my same passion for art and animation, both students and professors. These people and this school combine to create an environment that can take a young mind such as mine and give me the knowledge and skills required to breathe life into my ideas and goals. The curriculum is unique due to the fact that almost all of the courses are necessary and beneficial to my future career and is free of time-consuming filler courses that plague most other college schedules. By attending this college, I feel that my time will be put the utmost use by packing it full of knowledge and skills that I will take into the real world and into my future career that will ultimately help me achieve my goals.
Of course, I am not expecting these opportunities to be served to me on a silver platter, I understand that I will need to completely apply myself and put forth all of my effort in order to be successful. Sacrifices will need to be made and time will need to be accommodated for. I am willing to set aside my free time I could be using to play games or talk to my best friends in order to study and practice for class. Education is valuable and I will not waste my opportunity to learn about my blazing passion, therefore my studies and classes will take the top priority. I have always believed that one can only take as much as they give. My mindset was most likely shaped by my grandpa who worked as a farmer. By making me help him on the farm, he taught me about hard work and dedication and the rewards it would bring. Today, I hold myself to high standards and put in a level of effort and commitment into my education that my grandpa would be proud of.
My intense passion for animation and my attitude towards hard work are like a flame that can be kindled into a blazing fire, the kindling being this school. With my goals being so sizable, I desire to be the best prepared I can possibly be for my future, so I don't want to slack on the road to get there. That is why I've turned to the Art Institute of Charlotte. I could not be more excited about my future here.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Tristin, you need to have specifics indicated in your essay so that you can impress upon the reviewer that you have a specific career path and career goal in mind. Therefore, you can say that you want to work towards an animation degree that will allow you work with say, the production company that developed your favorite game title. Explain that you have a game concept in mind that is based upon an original game which you know will blow their socks off once you finally develop the game software for it and show them the rough version. Having a specific focus, which you of course have the liberty to change in the future, will help the reviewer understand just how serious your desire to complete this course is and that you are a person who is focused on having a remarkable career in your chosen field.
Tie in your professional goals with a more updated comment about how the university can help you achieve this by indicating the subjects or internships that you plan to focus on as a student and why these particular classes and programs will be the best way for you to attain the theoretical and actual training that you need to succeed in this field.
As for how you plan to contribute to your success in this field of study, your reasons are generalized and shallow. These do not reflect the study habits of a student who has dedicated his life to improving himself in this field now and in the future. Try to explain how you will use the university facilities and other internship or part time work related activities in the betterment of your education. Since education of this level is not limited to the 4 corners of the classroom or online experience, you need to gain some specifics as to how you will do this. You will have to research the related extracurricular activities or training programs at Charlotte that will help you meet the demands of continuous education outside of the classroom.
