Describe how one or more of these values [Vires, Artes, Mores] embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
I am an artist. The world is my canvas and as I paint, the mixture of diverse tones and colors on my pallet of intellect illustrate the passion within my masterpiece which is my ultimate impact on humanity. This of course, is a metaphor for my personal philosophy but although I do view life through the eyes of an artist and see my intellect as the instrument through which I will make change, on a concrete level I am a terrible a painter. In fact, my best pieces are probably a few finger painted stick figures I made in Kindergarten. Nonetheless, I am an artist in the broader interpretation of the word and although "Vires" and "Mores" are both concepts that embody my lifestyle, my life is dramatically reflected in the concept of the Latin word, "Artes".
As an artist--one having superior skill or abilities to produce superior work-- Artes is a word that immediately identifies with me. From my application, transcripts, and resume it is evident that I have both the potential and reputation for producing superior work but unlike many other individuals my age, my work is a result of my passion for learning as an art or lifestyle, rather than simply completing the minimum requirements to "make the grade".
The most hated class I've ever taken was world history during my sophomore year of high school but not because I disliked history or because it was my very first AP class but because it was so easy! Don't get me wrong, the course itself seemed very intense and there should have been loads of reading and studying involved in order to pass the class. However, an average class period with Mrs. Osborn consisted of dragging into class with little hope of actually learning, enduring a completely irrelevant and tedious lecture about King Ferdinand which would somehow drift into a twenty minute tangent on her planned trip to Las Vegas after she wins the lottery, and finally concluding with the disbursement of an elementary homework assignment which everyone finished before the bell rang for second period. Occasionally, she'd inject an open book quiz on homo-sapiens or a notebook check worth 50% of the class grade into her lesson plans.
Although I received A's all year long and a boost in my GPA, I left the class with little more knowledge about world history than what I had went in with. Unable to endure another year of not learning history with Mrs. Osborn, I opted to take American history at a community college my junior year. Although the straight A's I toiled for weren't worth as much credit as the A's I would have received in the AP class, my craving for knowledge was nourished as I worked hard under the teachings of an experienced professor who took my education seriously and at the end of the year, the knowledge I gained was more than worth the sacrifice
Good evening.
As the prompt for this essay was not included in this posting, I can give suggestions in regards to grammar and mechanics.
First, I suggest a refresher on the proper use of commas. There are some spots where they are in an inappropriate place, or should be present and are not; also, make sure that your punctuation is always enclosed in quotation marks when they are used. I also suggest you run the essay through a spell checking program.
Avoid using contractions in formal academic writing; they are inappropriate, and many instructors will count down for their use.
In regards to content, the essay seems disorganized. For instance, I'm not sure what the paragraph on the history class has to do with anything, and the conclusion doesn't tie anything up. Remember that a conclusion is supposed to reiterate what you wrote in the paper and wrap it up, leaving the reader feeling a sense of closure and satisfaction.
Regards,
Gloria
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