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Being an artist - ucla prompt 2 tell us about a talent


winstonli 6 / 15  
Aug 2, 2010   #1
In Texas, the summer air boils. The roads flash with the mirage of watery heat shines. As the thermometer blows its top, I can actually see sweat appearing from my pores; small drops at first, then they merge and form the large beads that roll down my body. Before I know it, it feels like I just ran a marathon through a category five hurricane. It's not a very pleasant feeling, especially when I sit in my garage studio painting a picture. Painting is my talent, my passion, my life.

In my life I have noticed adults are particularly fond of the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" In fact, I have been asked this question so many times that I have formulated two theories: a) all the minds of adults have been synchronized under a mass conspiracy to annoy teenagers or b) the creativity of humans decay exponentially with age. Even better is their reaction when I declare "an artist or a painter." At that point the inquirer leaps backwards away from me as if I had suddenly contracted a horribly contagious disease. I silently chuckle as the stereotypical thoughts of artist race through the adult's mind. It always happens.

I have been an artist all my life. I don't remember what sparked my interest in art; nevertheless, I cannot remember a time when I did not scribble, doodle, sketch, color, or paint. I'm sure as a baby, I wreaked havoc with the myriad of crayons, markers, and colored pencils lying around. Afterwards, during my childhood, I did what children do best: mimic. Sitting at my desk at home or in school, I copied from the picture-filled elementary textbooks like a student of the baroque school from a textbook on Caravaggio.

I take great pride in the fact that I can make art. When I put my heart and soul into a painting, I emulate emotions, messages, and designs onto a canvas. It's magical, more than magical, how we artists, like God, create something out of nothing. Every time I look at a fresh, glossy new canvas I feel a tingling ecstasy as I envision the boundless possibilities. In the past few years, I have participated in numerous art contests in the past few years, such as the Visual Arts Scholastic Event and the Fort Worth Star Telegram Blooming Artists Contest, and the plethora of medals, ribbons, and monetary rewards have made me very proud.

Of course, all artists have one thing in common. Art defines who they are as how they perceive the world. Over the years, as age takes its toll on me, I have become more and more expressive. However, in a world where teenagers are perpetually smothered by adults, my need to express is always suppressed by a finger to the lips. Despite my excruciating frustration, I realized that smoldering alone isn't going to help very much. So one day, as I was filling up my sketchbook with silly nonsense, I suddenly realized that instead of verbally expressing my ideas, I can paint them on a canvas. Clutching my sketchbook, I raced down to my studio (aka my garage). After three weeks of furious work, I produced a Pieta that expresses the serene suffering I endure from being stifled.

Art has always been part of my life. In my future, I hope to expand upon my talent in painting and make a career of it. As I dowse myself in sweat each summer painting, I will always see that as a milestone to success and treat it as a free sauna.
vietfun2k 9 / 47 1  
Aug 2, 2010   #2
It's an enjoyable and well-written essay. However, I'm not sure if the introduction works because the transition from the hot weather in Texas to your talent in painting somehow doesn't flow smoothly. "It's not a very pleasant feeling, especially when I sit in my garage studio painting a picture." Perhaps you should consider revising your intro.
st_hastings 1 / 1  
Aug 2, 2010   #3
It is a very well written essay, very illustrative, lots of figurative language. I like how you take a sentence to recognize your acheivments as an artist. This may seem obvious, but you'd have to identify your passion for art as a hobby instead of a career, if you don't plan to major in art. Once again, obvious (but you never know).
OP winstonli 6 / 15  
Aug 3, 2010   #4
thanks for the great advice! i am actually going into an art major, so do you think it would be good to state that?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 4, 2010   #5
Painting is my talent, my passion, my life.

I think this sentence should be lengthened to include some mention of the "heat" theme that you established. Do you know what I mean? This last sentence should mention heat in order to maintain that theme you are using.

comma and capitalization:
...of the question, "What do..."

comma
...when I declare, "an artist or a painter."

You can be a painter no matter what you choose to do for your career. Depending on where you live and what skills and resources you have, you may or may not be able to make money with painting. If you make money by tutoring kids and spend your inspired time painting, that is just as good. You can also major in entrepreneurship so that you learn great ways to market your art.

You can never be just one thing. You'll be many things. You might be a painter and entrepreneur.

:-)

Clutching my sketchbook, I raced down to my studio (aka my garage). After three weeks of furious work, I produced a Pieta that expresses the serene suffering I endure from being stifled.

This is a great example!

I hope you'll write a little more about the connection between your talent and your intended major and some relevant goals you hope to accomplish during the next few years.
clocktower 1 / 5  
Aug 10, 2010   #6
Art defines who they are as how they perceive the world.

Did you mean "and"?

My only additional criticism concerns the introduction -- I agree with vietfun2k, I would try to smooth over the transition from the descriptions of the "heat" so emphasized in the introduction to your passion for art.

It's not a very pleasant feeling, especially when I sit in my garage studio painting a picture. Painting is my talent, my passion, my life.

Here the jump is a little abrupt. Since you use the Texas summer heat as your hook, you should give it some more significance in your following writing (this may be worded a little awkwardly, but I am trying to say that it is of some use as a recurrent, descriptive aspect for this work, if you would like). Either that or tone down the details in the intro, since the real point is your passion for art, not the heat.

However, this is an overall well-written essay. You do a great job using descriptive language, illustrating for readers a portrait of someone who wholeheartedly loves art and being an artist.

As a fellow artist, I really connected with this. :) I wish you the best of luck!


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