There really isn't much prompt but it asks me to answer this:
What are your artistic interests/goals?
What issues and concerns inform your art-making practice?
Why are you applying to the art program at CalArts?
I feel like my transition between the questions are not very good, so I need a bit of advice on it and how to make my artist statement flow. They didn't say how many words it should be, but they recommend between 500-1000. it is currently around 650 right now. It's my first draft so it's REAL rough.
Unleashing the Creative Mind
My artwork for the past 16 years have been heavily influenced by my own hardships, making it applicable to the societal problems today. Because of how I have lived through the times of struggling with an eating disorder, I wanted to portray my pain through illustrations and also integrate underlying truths about dealing with it. Especially in a world where internet is easily accessible, the pressure of looking like someone else is at high stakes. I unfortunately fell into a world of self-loathing and through my art, I hope people will understand how important it is to love themselves.
Coming to conclusions with my struggle was the toughest mountain to climb, but it only made me feel strongly inspired to create artworks empowering one's body image and self-love. I began exploring different styles to create a character that would resemble the feelings I felt about myself during the struggle. For example, my main focus would be on girls and for her features, I would make the nose in an odd "U" shape and have the body be slightly plump. I loved the originality of my character, but there was still something missing. It was the true feeling of my pain I had been hiding for many years, and my first character was still trying to shade away the truth. So I decided to create something completely new, a caricature that will able to portray the dangers if one were not to be precautionary about their mental health. This time, I truly felt connected, and tears falling down my face were produced by both joy and genuine pain. Several of my friends who have also gone through the same battles also felt deeply intimate with my character and soon realized how harshly they were treating themselves. I was so glad I was able to communicate with them through visuals, and I just hope I could do the same to the world.
Since I have a mind with endless possibilities of creations, I have always preferred making illustrations. However recently, I have also found a passion in both pastry art. I have linked the two interests and took them to another artistic level. For example, I would sketch first illustrate my pastry and transform my sketch into a reality. Because of how I have these correlating passions, I hope in the future I can somehow be both a baker and an illustrator. In relation to my mental illness, I still struggle sometimes with the ability to accept unhealthy foods, but luckily I found a way to make healthy foods taste amazing. My dream bakery will be comprised of nutritious pastries, alongside my art pieces to decorate the interior.
The ultimate goal of creating the combination of a shop and an art gallery is so I can promote the positivity of being a healthy, well being through food and art. I realized people feel an instant connection with food because of how the flavors ignites our taste buds, sensing our brain with overwhelming happiness. My inclusion of artworks also has the ability to showcase the deep message behind it. The interpretation of the illustration is subjective to the audience though, but my artwork should still grasp a sense of the feelings about one's self thoughts.
Over the summer, I attended the CalArts intensive, month-long art program. I was thrilled when I was chosen to participate in the painting class of 2019. The faculty were professionally trained and the program was very organized, making me feel like an actual CalArts wanting to thrive in art like other students.
Because of how much I have grown during a span of one month, I decided to apply to CalArts and participate with the most talented artists from around the world. When I first heard about CalArts, I was intrigued because of how different it was compared to other art schools. CalArts is a particularly new school that is divided into seven schools with programs incorporating the use of the digital world. Even though I chose to major in Art,Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Hannah, I think that you should revise the first half of the essay to give what you went through a name, body shaming. Use that term to refer to what you were going through instead of the extremely long and unimaginative explanation that you gave in this version. When you say "body shaming", the reviewer will immediately know what it is about, what you went through, what you are still going through, and why you should be admired for getting this far in your quest to give yourself a voice and opinion through your art and pastry art. These should represent the issues and concerns that inform your art-making practice. It is easier to build your explanation when you use terms that most readers will be familiar with without requiring you to explain about it in detail as you do now.
Don't focus your artistic interests and goals only on yourself. Try to explain how you would like to use your personal story to aid other women who may have fallen into the body shaming trap. What is your artistic interest? Is it to learn to draw "real" people? Is the goal to help women not fall into the same trap that you did? If so, how do you plan to do that through art or edible art?
Your essay has great potential. I hope to review your revised essay once you get it done. For this essay, I would aim to write about 500 words instead. Your discussion is running too long and shows that you are not really sure about what to write about. This sounds more like you are still outlining and drafting your potential essay rather than reviewing a potential finished product. Aim for a more cohesive presentation based on the prompt requirements. Don't overexplain, just explain in simple terms. The reviewer will appreciate that.
