Write a brief essay (250 words maximum each question) in which you respond to the following questions. (Freshman applicants only):
1. Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)
I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I want to be. What I do know is that I was never one to sit behind a desk and do the same menial tasks day after day. The idea of being just another employee, just another statistic, is simply not an option for me.
To me, choosing a choice of study was not about how much potential money could be earned or what sounds like the most fun, but rather in which can I make the greatest difference. I love to draw, I like to design, I have a passion for planes and the idea of flight, and, admittedly, I spend hours playing video games with my friends. Yet I could not see myself ever pursuing one of my many interests as a major. I want to help people. With an engineering degree the possibilities to improving other's lives are endless. For every problem an engineer solves there is no telling to how many people were actually affected and how many lives bettered.
As an undergraduate engineering undecided applicant I am hesitant and timid to make a finite decision on what it is within engineering I want to study. I chose Johns Hopkins not only because of its engineering excellence but also because of its quality over vast studies. Knowing myself that I have interests in a broad range of topics only makes my decision harder and one that is almost cruel; however, in Johns Hopkins, I know that whatever choice I do make, I will be receiving a first-rate education.
Woah. By now, if "you don't know," it's not a good thing. Hence, I strongly advise against saying that. The last thing AO readers will probably want is someone's essay that does not give strong reason for the writer's choice of that college. Just choose a major. The admissions officers know that people will change their major at least twice, so they will know that your choice is not final. But still, make a choice and elaborate - it will make your essay much stronger and more appealing.
James,
I WOULD NOT use the first parsgraph of this essay. OK, your not sure what you want to do. Not everybody does going from high school to college. However, you have a general idea of the area of study. You more or less say that in para 2. So, make forward thinking statements.
I redid a lot of the essay because of your comments. It was a first draft and your points were very helpful...
I wrote this fairly quick and as always please revise and be as critical as possible. I think this one has a more accurate interpretation of what i was trying to say but i still need your views in case i miss the boat again...
Ten years ago, if you were to ask me what I wanted to be I would've said a professional baseball player. Five years ago, a pilot. Two years ago, an artist. And last year, an architect. Some call it being indecisive; I call it having an open mind, always willing to embrace change.
There is no one thing that can define me as a person so I feel no need to label myself under one major just yet. I look forward to an open curriculum allowing myself to delve into other interests outside of the ordinary classroom. I look forward to displaying my talents in other areas from Italian to Greek mythology, never letting my mind be closed to outside influence. To enriching my knowledge beyond specific courses and to truly find what it is I want.
Above all, I want to help others. I believe that engineers have the ability to accomplish anything. For every problem an engineer solves there is no telling to how many people were actually affected and how many lives bettered.
Johns Hopkins is perfect for me, not only because of its engineering excellence, but also because of its quality over vast studies. Knowing myself and my interests in a broad range of topics only makes my decision harder and one that is almost cruel; however, in Johns Hopkins, I know that whatever choice I do make, I will be receiving a first-rate education and be able to keep an open mind.
thanks
James,
Can you bring in some of your accomplishments at the CC. Then go into why JHU overs you opportunities that CC cannot provide. Your interest in mythology at JHU, try to pull something from JHU in this area into your PS. Maybe from the philosophy angle.
Try to stay away from platitudes, like "because of its engineering excellence, but also because of its quality over vast studies". The more personal you make it the better. Your opening para is good.
Another example, "Above all, I want to help others. I believe that engineers have the ability to accomplish anything". Rather than this generak statement, provide an example that shows depth.
Your getting there.
thanks for your insight...
i am definitely more content with my opening paragraph and second paragraph now. I agree the last two paragraphs need more work. I'll keep working on it.
thanks again
-james
Ten years ago, if you were to ask me what I wanted to be I would've said a professional baseball player. Five years ago, a pilot. Two years ago, an artist. And last year, an architect. Some call it being indecisive; I call it having an open mind, always willing to embrace change.
I don't like this part. There is no need to focus on your indecision.
You can briefly mention wanting to keep an open mind and keep your options open, but focus on what you ARE certain about: Above all, I want to help others. I believe that engineers have the ability to accomplish anything. ---- this is the right idea, but use these sentences to say something more meaningful.
This is one of my favorite parts: For every problem an engineer solves there is no telling to how many people were actually affected and how many lives bettered.
Well, if you had to guess what the three fields will be that you master in life, one would be engineering (what kind?) and what would the other 2 be?
Your comments are very helpful. I am trying to re-work the intro now and add more feeling to the other part of the essay.
The only problem is that i am applying to the engineering school undecided rather than the university so i'm not sure if i should name a specific type of engineering as one of the things i want to master in life.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
-james
James,
I am not altogether sure that the essay you wrote -- either the first one or the second one -- is appropriate to send to Johns Hopkins. When they read an essay such as the one that you were assigned to write, they are looking for a person with a clear, decisive plan, perhaps even a clear five year plan with respect to his or her own lives. You, clearly, are not offering that here in either one of the essays. I would certainly heed the remarks made by the others are re-work the essay once again. You want to write a convincing essay; you are trying to explain to them that you are the candidate, above all others, who should be selected, and selected now.
If you want any more help, let me know. That is what we are here for. To help you.
Mark :)
Sure, i would love all the help i can get. I am just having trouble writing a convincing essay about applying undecided. I guess i could just pick one aspect of engineering but then i would have to write a completely different essay.
I know my writing is not the greatest so i thank you again for your time and consideration.
I thought about choosing mechanical engineering and writing about that and incorporate da vinci and his works because his work was one of my first inspirations, but I am just playing with ideas here. Choosing an actual major wouldn't be too much of a hassle i would just have to go change my application a bit.
Anything and everything helps
-james
