'ASB President' - extracurricular activities or work experience

As ASB President, I have taken on the duties of leading a school and the student body cabinet. I work with 18 other cabinet members together making up the ASB cabinet. Last year, I served as the Publicity Commissioner, which gave me a year of experience. This experience has helped me greatly because similar to last year, our ASB advisor has left us on maternity leave. This has proven to be a challenge because I'm also constantly trying to fill the shoes of our away advisor. I am learning how difficult it really is to control eighteen other students, who are also my friends. Yet personally I feel that I've been getting better and learning everyday what it takes to be a good leader. As stressful as this job has been, I love it because I learn more and more everyday of what I am truly capable of.

This is definitely a good start. However, I think you should maybe use more descriptive language to make it more engaging. Right now, it seems like it is more of a list of what you did, not how you felt about it or what you learned and how you grew or changed as a person, which is really what you want to highlight. You say you are learning what it takes to be a great leader, but what exactly does it take? There is a little too much vague language, but with a little more work...it will be spot on! Good luck!