Prompt:If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why would like to study at Duke.
The interest was first sparked when I read a Reader's Digest article about an army veteran, whose amputated left leg was replaced by a C-Leg, a knee prosthetic. It was capable of making 50 calculations per second, making adjustments in real time so that amputee is able to walk on various terrains similar to their original gait without much thinking. I was already fascinated by what medical professionals do for victims of illnesses and physical disabilities. However, what most intrigued me were the medical devices that they utilize to assist them or solve these medical problems. The C-Leg gave me a glimpse into the numerous practical applications that biomedical engineering has on the medical community. I wanted to be part of the contributing factor to the medical community. As a contributing factor, I want to have a profound impact on the medical aspects of society.
Duke University appealed to me as an aspiring biomedical engineer, not only because it offers one of the best BME programs but it enables students to engage in education and independent study research. The knowledge I will obtain from the education, taught by the excellent faculty, to complement in my independent research in developing a prosthetic that quickly adapt to an amputee's original physical movements, eliminating the need for intensive physical therapy, which can a painful and arduous process. However, my purpose does not end there. Duke offers various opportunities, such as DukeEngage, allowing me approach to issues not only in the U.S. but in countries abroad. Collaborating with individuals, not just in my respective field, but in others, will broaden my perspective of the world around me. As a result, I want to be part of the Pratt School of Engineering, a diverse and inclusive community consisting of committed students and professors, continuously striving to make a lasting effecting in our society.
Note: There is no required format for this essay. However, when I contacted Duke Undergraduate Admissions, this is what they said word for word "We do not stipulate any formatting guidelines for our short answer for applicants to our Pratt School of Engineering. We ask that you fully address the question in as succinct and thorough response as you can create. The response may exceed one page and may be single or double spaced. We want to know about your interest in Pratt and engineering but also remember that brevity is the soul of wit!"
This is a very rough draft and I intend on revising it several times before submission. I understand that the second paragraph is a bit vague and general. I need some help pinpointing what aspect of Duke appeals to me the most.
I greatly appreciate any criticism or praise, although I would prefer the former.
I think the first paragraph was great and I can tell that you do have interest in engineering.
For the second paragraph I think you should separated them or rewrite so that it flows: "The knowledge I will obtain from the education, taught by the excellent faculty, to complement in my independent research in developing a prosthetic that quickly adapt to an amputee's original physical movements, eliminating the need for intensive physical therapy, which can a painful and arduous process".
Overall, I think your essay is great. Your interest in engineering and Duke clearly shows the readers about why you're really fascinated about them.
Oh, and for your conclusion.. I think your last sentence is a bit cliche.. If you don't think so then that's fine, maybe it's just me lol But you could probably reword some of them..
I hope I helped you.. lol
And can you please read my essay and give feedback? thank you!!!
