Hey this is my first time doing this and this is a pretty weak and quickly put together essay... so any kind of kind of help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (500 words)
Growing up I could honestly say I never had an absolute favorite subject. Nevertheless, I always put my all into everything I did; I had a yearning to learn, a longing to gain knowledge of everything humanly possible. This childhood ambition drove me to become a fairly good student in a whole realm of varying subjects. Whether it was solving simple fractions or figuring out the hardest of derivatives, to reading playful stories of Dr. Seuss or captivating Shakespearian plays, I was always wide-eyed and awed by each new discovery. Yet, it always seemed like there was still something missing. None of the essential educational subjects ever captivated my heart and soul to the point where I could truly say, it was my favorite and that I wanted to pursue a future in it.
One thing was certain though, ever since I was young, I was taught to treat others as you would like to be treated. This is one thing I am particularly good at, I enjoy helping others. Whether it may be something as simple as tutoring or as complicated as the loss of a loved one, it has always been in my nature to assist people with their problems. When most would back away from an uncomfortable situation, I relish the opportunity to lend a hand and let others know they're not alone. You could say my family has a tradition of helping other people, my father is a doctor and my mother is a counselor. It is their job to help people with their everyday problems. This environment that I have been surrounded by has shaped my perspective of the world around me and as I have grown I have come to the realization that this knowledge I have been harnessing from an early age can in turn be used to aid those in need. But how?
Throughout my high school career I have been using what I have learned to give back to those in need of help. I have done this all while trying to figure out what class or subject I can most fully apply my desires. Classes such as biology, anatomy, physiology and health have offered an obvious insight into a way in which I could help, yet other classes like history, government and economics offer another side to the spectrum. Therefore, to focus my search I have narrowed my choices down to: social sciences, pre-med, and business. These fields are broad in themselves, but the Departments of psychology, biology, science & tech and sociology in the College of Arts and Sciences at Cornell all offer excellent opportunities to pursue a career in which I will be able to fulfill my dream.
By entering into the university as undecided I allow myself the possibility and freedom to merge several academic interests into my education. If I were to choose a major with only one or two related classes under my belt, I would be closing off countless possibilities. I have never had a favorite subject, but with the wealth of programs and courses at Cornell, I will be one step closer to discovering what I truly want to spend the rest of my life doing.
I'm at 533 words and the essay feels like I'm rambling and that it's very repetitive... Suggestions?
overall,your idea is great but the essay needs some work. You did not really say what makes your intellectual interests exciting to you. By saying you want to specialize in business, pre-med and social science you have to include WHY (your previous reason doesn't make you seem like you have much passion). As much as you have a broad range of interests, the Admissions Office will expect atleast one or two to particularly stand out to you. talk about them. it will be beneficial if you cut out some part of the second paragraph so you can answer the prompt more appropriately and stick to the word limit of 500.BTW i hope this isn't too late!
You're essay is not bad!
Although you could really answer the prompt better, more creatively.
Include an anecdote - about a fulfilling experience you had helping someone - really the stuff about your parents is unecessary and a weak example.
Also, clarify your point. Do you want to pursue these fields becasue you want to help people or because they are intresting to you. Its alright if the answer is both, but your essay really needs to be more cohesive.
Look at mine?
Thankss!
